This is a story about Jack. Jack had a problem. He was secretly a cockroach controlling an android bodysuit that was specifically designed to be as attractive as humanly possible. This meant Jack had hoards of people of all genders and income brackets throwing themselves at him, day and night.

This originally pleased Jack, as Jack got to see quite a few boobies and butts and gonads and other good bits, and because Jack's android bodysuit was fully functional in all capacities of human life, he was able to feel a sense of perverted superiority over the humans he pleased as he sat back and let the autopilot do its job. But, as time went on Jack wanted to grow close and intimate with someone special. This would prove difficult, as that would require Jack to be honest about being a gross bug, and that would cause whomever he was trying to get close either to leave in a hurry, or worse yet, to smush him dead.

So, being afraid of both rejection and imminent death, Jack resolved to suck it up and live with the deficits of being a cockroach in an android bodysuit. He was sad, but he knew there was no one out there for him. That was, at least, until he met Janice.

Janice was a fry cook by day and a sumo wrestler by night. Jack had never met such an incredibly diverse person as Janice. They did some whoopee, but Jack soon realized that he had serious feelings for this person who had just recently entered his life. So, throwing caution to the wind, he revealed the truth to Janice one evening after they ate a particularly delectable dinner of oreos and microwaved cat food.

Janice first laughed, and Jack couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But then Janice smiled. She had a secret too, it turns out. See, she was really a centipede controlling a hyper-realistic doll automaton. What a shock! In all his wildest dreams, Jack could never predict such a fate! So, his little cockroach heart beating wildly, he opened the face panel of his android bodysuit and crawled out. He was going to finally be with someone that could understand him.

Except Janice was really lying like the bitch she is and immediately squished Jack as soon as his gross bug body left the confines of his android bodysuit. Tough luck. The moral of the story? Don't be a bug in the first place. Duh!