Your Fantasy Becomes Reality

It was never supposed to be real. It was all a fantasy in your head. When you posted in LAr4r you didn’t expect anyone real to message you. Maybe a “real” person trying to sell you an onlyfans subscription but not an actual person who actually wanted to meet. But there she was in your inbox, sending you a real picture, really wanting to meet for dinner.

There’s nothing wrong with your marriage. You love your wife, you love your dog. You’re trying for a kid and actually, really want one. But there’s the fantasy. You see the girls at the beach, at dinner, all of the places. This is LA. They are young, they are hot. They weren’t into you when you were young, because you were never hot. But maybe. So you are in town for work and having a good time with your co-workers but the thought just want go away. It’ll be just like a Judd Apatow movie, an ugly dude gets an impossibly hot new girlfriend. No amount of masturbation satisfies the fantasy. So you post it.

And holy shit, a real person responds. You don’t know she’s real. You keep thinking she’s not. You go to work, and you participate but you keep looking at your phone expecting the chat to never materialize. But it does. She wants to meet tonight, your last night in town. She offers to bring drinks. You know you should just block her but your don’t. You keep responding. You make actual plans. This isn’t a fantasy. This is fucking real. You are really going to do this. She sends you a picture. She is very pretty but not the fantasy. End it now. But you don’t. You send her a selfie, a bad selfie to push her away but she responds positively. Holy shit. Work ends and you go to your hotel. You avoid the people you are working with. You do it. You finalize the plans. You call your wife and tell her you love her. You are a piece of shit and you are doing this.

The restaurant is a mile away. This is your last chance. You don’t have to go there. You could just cancel the plans. You should cancel the plans, but you don’t. You fucking coward. She only wants you cause she doesn’t know that you are married. You are a piece of shit. But you keep walking. You show up. You are early. 10 minutes early. You could walk back. You must walk back. Instead you walk around the block over and over again. She texts that she will be 10 minutes late. Fuck this is your chance, tell her you don’t believe her and are leaving. Do it you moron. “Sounds good, I’ll get us a table.”

You absolute fucking coward, you piece of shit.

You are sitting in the restaurant. You wanted to try it. You told your wife you were going but you told her it was with co-workers. You filthy liar. 5 minutes late. You can still leave. You haven’t ordered anything. Do it, leave. Leave now. But you don’t. You wait. First date nerves. You always thought you hated them but here you are, accepting them. You told her this was just a conversation. This isn’t a date. You were clear in the messages that you lived in Missouri. And we’re returning. This wasn’t a date. It’s totally a date. She texts that she’s wearing jeans and a white top.

You could still run. You have broken a lot but it’s not over yet. Leave you moron, leave. But you stand there. And she walks up. She is prettier than her picture but not the fantasy. Your wife deserves better, she deserves better, you deserve to rot in hell. She spots you and you wave her over.

What the hell have you done?