Pounding, rapid beating, rush of heat, steam could be coming out of mi cheeks. Eyes close...and flashes of your hand slightly tracing my thighs, the rounds of my breast, my nipples rising to encounter your finger tips... Your voice in my ear...so raw and deep...you talk slowly, sounding every word...your Northern Italian accent fighting to escape. -Did you enjoy it?- I can almost picture you licking your lips and forming a sly satisfied smile. -Oh my God...- catching my breath, everything around me is vibrating..- I did. -Sit up. Can you sit up? I want to see your face. I sit up grabbing for my blanket... - Aww Nooo, leave the blanket I hate that blanket! You say laughing. I sit up in my bed, phone in hand, can't look straight at it in case my face explode. - Mamma mia...look at me. Can you look at me. Look at me, I want to see your face- such dominance in your voice, yet I don't feel it or it's lost on me- - Oh you're so cutee! Don't cover your face, let me see... You know I could just stare at you like this all night. - How did it felt? How do you feel? I say nothing. -You like me telling you what to do. You said you weren't submissive. Yet here we are. You want me to make you do stuff. You being bad, you love it. Want me to tell you things...and do things to you. - I know...its like, there's two voices in my head, one it's freaking out and the other one is screaming "Jump!" - I say through my fingers covering my face, laughing, I can still feel my cheeks blushing- So I guess I'll jump, might fall down on my face but... - Can you put the phone somewhere steady? I want to look at you. I put the phone on my desk beside my bed. - There...can you lean back a little? And don't cover yourself... You are so beautiful. - I just...feel on the spot. Every flaw out there for you to see... All that's hanging, not perky enough, cellulite...I feel judge. I know is just in my head. - Every body judge, you shouldn't care what other people say, sex is not about being perfect, its about being kinky and enjoying eachother.... Have you any idea how beautiful you are... You keep talking... saying things.. dealy things, killing the last thread of my common sense, I peak at the screen occasionally and smile, I don't have my glasses on so I can't really see myself bare before you.... My room is cold but my skin its burning, I know you're watching, I feel your eyes tracing my shoulders going down my collarbone, you stop at my breast, I can't see you but i feel you. ................. I wish I could remember everything we talked about, my brain feels like a castaway grasping at little pieces of conversation, I blame it equal parts on my shitty internet connection, my desperate attempt to keep my mind from overthinking, from looking for meanings, and your thick Italian accent, which you tried to hide, and failed miserably, I found it so adorable, and devastatingly sexy. I close my eyes and in concentration I can hear flashes of it: - ...You knocked the narcissistic nihilist out of me by just being you... - ...That day I wanted to be with you, I wanted to hold you, hold yours hands and make love to you... - ...My so unfinished book you are... - ...With me you are the softest and the fluffiest... -...You beamed me up... -...I'm starting to fall for you and that shouldn't happen... - ...none of this is good for you...I will end up hurting you... - ... wtf. Let me give you some compliments you monster... - ...horny monster 😂...

Hours of conversation, everything and nothing. Like we tried to cramp both our life experiences in just those moments, those nights. The dread of finality was hanging over our heads, and we were both running from it, this was it, our pocket in time. I'll deal with the aftermath later.