The other day, I was trying to explain our 2nd amendment right to "bear arms" to a friend. We ended up on this subject when I expressed an interest in displaying my manliness in the most demonstrative way possible: by killing a deer with my "bear hands."

He asked me how I would kill a deer with just my "bare hands." I told him this. The first thing you need to do is get your rifle and head out in the woods. "Rifle?" he said. "I thought you were killing the deer with your 'bare hands'?" To which I retorted, "I am, but before I can kill the deer 'bear handed,' I must first exercise my constitutional right to keep 'bear arms.'"

I then asked him how I would get the arms of the bear if I don’t shoot it first. His face had a quizzical look, as though he did not grasp the concept. I again tried to explain: our founders knew we, as citizens, need a way to defend ourselves, and "bear arms" are our god-given right.

I then proceeded to remind him that a full-size grizzly could easily decapitate a man with one fell swoop of its "bear arms," and that’s why our first president, Jesus H. Christ, wrote it down in the Bible as the second commandment.

Again looking puzzled, I proceeded to tell him my tale. I explained that after carefully stalking my bear and choosing one with exceptional arm size, I raised my rifle and shot it dead. I proceeded to collect my "bear arms" with the intention of fully exercising my second amendment rights once I had gotten home and cleaned them up.

The next morning, I proceeded to exercise my right to "bear arms" and adorned them proudly on each arm. Setting out into the woods again, this time with no rifle, I knew I was following in the footsteps of my forefathers. I quietly approached my prey and, in one fell swoop, dropped it dead with a powerful blow.

In that moment, a wave of red, white, and blue lights overwhelmed me as "Born in the USA" blared in the background, and I finally knew why our 2nd amendment right to keep "bear arms" must always remain unabashed.

God Bless Merica