I feel like their silence pisses me off even more than whatever racist comment some rando is making. I’ve heard so many random casual racist remarks over the course of this year, and every time, the white friends I’m with leave the burden on me- a person of color- to respond. I’m getting increasingly resentful towards them. I know that freeze response can happen (in fact that’s my primary trauma response). But like… I hate that in the moment, no one ever says anything or stands up for me. I always am left to either respond to the person or have to try and make a joke or diffuse the tension while my other friends just stare at me blankly and watch. Or sometimes my friends say “hmm that sounded kinda racist.” After the event happens. Why would that be a helpful reply??? Like… of course I know the incident was racist. Don’t tell me that! Tell the other person! Or ask me if I’m okay at least. If you freeze in the moment but talk to me about it later, that’s ok. But having my friends just be bystanders makes these moments so much worse. Wtf. I’m getting more and more pissed off with my friends, especially my white ones. I don’t know. I guess this is just a rant. Needed someone to validate me. I’m the only brown person in my friend group and I’m only just beginning to realize how draining it is. I’m so fucking tired. I should just ditch these friends once I graduate.