I, (insert name) pledge under my will, to resist the Nut during No Nut November, and to withhold my pleasures until the month of December.

This sacred pledge shall not be infringed upon, unless you are willing to give up your rank in society.

A “Nut” as it is labeled in this document, is defined as the peanut, soynut, walnut, almond, pecan, chestnut, hazel nut, cashew, betel nut (, brazil nut, pistachio, macadamia nut, pili nut, coco nut, cacao nut, pine nut (pignoli), canola nut (hemp in Canadian), bat nuts, tiger nut, kola, mongongo nut, etc etc et cetera.

This pledge applies to everyone willing to volunteer, regardless of allergy or immunity to nut or knowledge of small crevices or hiding holes.

Involuntary nutting, such as a "eating the wrong" or being forced to fall, is exempt from the chastisements of the 5 Levels Rule.

Sunflower seeds do not count as a "Nut" and are very safe.

The 5 Levels Rule goes as follows:

There are 5 levels of different offenses that can occur during NNN, the correct abbreviation for No Nut November. These offenses will have different consequences, depending on the severity of the offense.

These are the new Levels:

Level 1 Offenses:

Naturally occurring Nut activity (being outside near a nut tree). This will be met with mild brush to the back of the Tail, followed by the remark, “You fool. You monumental Bruh" and "The trees gone Bruh"

Level 2 offenses:

Casual contact but with no taste appeal and partially get hungry at someone else. Getting drunk at the bar is summary offense to Article 1 subs. B pursuant to NNN policy re: "Squirrely Behavior" bruh 🗿Distribution of Anti-NNN food sources, in the form of Halloween candy, Thanksgiving food, etc. Other types of food not listed will be judged later on by the Court of Nut Regulators for review by the Selecr Committee pres. Chad and Stacy. These actions will be reprimanded with a Day of Educational Blockade, where they are not to be allowed within 500 meters of a public school. This also means that people cannot view this person, as well as all previous punishments listed, pursuant to Easter Island code vol. II

Level 3 offenses:

Intent to eat a Nut, but fail to do so due to a sudden change of heart, attempting to loophole the Rules, or due to mental health issues Intentionally try to get someone ELSE to fail NNN Enjoyment of unprovoked food activity Purposely try to affect someone’s decision on whether or not to join the movement. These actions will be punished by a Day of Shunning, where the Failure is not to be talked to for the rest of the Day, and will suffer an uncomfortable Lunch period, as well as all previous punishments listed.

Level 4 offenses:

Making homemade nut butter to the point of Distribution, but no actual release of oils Giving unwanted sandwiches to someone else (aka Sexual Harassment) Apart from any legal issues, this is a Great dishonor and will be punished with a swift kick to the genitals if the Failure is Male, or a swift punch to the Right Arm if the Failure is Female, as well as all previous punishments listed.

Level 5 offenses:

Consuming Nuts Forcefully make someone else fail NNN (aka Grandma) Refusing to admit you disregard the Rules and the Pledge. This is the ultimate dishonor, and will be punished with the bearing of the Title of “War Crimes Advocate”, as well as all previous punishments listed.

If I, (insert name) succeed in this Trial of self-control and patience, I will be congratulated by the NNN Movement community, in addition to the New ability to bust the Phat One on the 1st Day of December, and to joyously enjoy the Christmas era. The Phat One is a Gift that many do not receive, but it is a gift of High enjoyment, and will only come once in a Year if you do not fail.

One may not be able to join the NNN Movement if they have Nutted in that November of that year previous to the Signing, or if they subscribe past the 5th of November. If you fail, you may not be able to rejoin the movement, and the Title will be on your Record for all eternity.

Are you willing to do all of this, and to stand with your fellow man and woman to resist the Nut during November? If not, there’s nothing wrong, but if you do, and will do it, read the full Pledge, Speak the Oath in the 1st Paragraph, and sign here. Your Trial begins as of this moment. X__________________________

EDIT: Do not copy and paste this part into the Pledge. I had to edit something about Periods. Please copy and paste this new revision.