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5
The "Boofalufagus".
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It gives me great pleasure to introduce everyone to my new product that is in the final patent stages. If I can have 2 minutes of your time, I will briefly explain how the Boofalufagus works.

The device which is J shaped will fit directly into your anus (the left side of the J pipe) on one end with the other end (the top of the J pipe) going into the users mouth.

-From here, just place your desired dose of meth into the bowl (located just before the curve on the "J").

-Hold onto the activation button which will provide heat to the meth. As opposed to inhaling, the user will be blowing into the tube which will direct the smoke into the anus (a heat sink is located in the unit to expel most of the heat from the flame source).

Sort of like a breathalyzer test, a small "beep" sound will go off when a sufficient amount of oxygen has pushed the smoke through the anal cavity where it will sit for a moment in your lower intestine, thus essentially boofing the meth smoke.

You may be asking "but mr_j. Why would I want to smoke meth through my ass instead of my mouth?" - Good question, let me explain.....

By smoke boofing methamphetamine, it will interact with the pockets of methane gas in the lower intestines. Holy shit!

These 2 meths combine together in the anal canal thus creating a very potent and long lasting byproduct known as methanelamphetamine - aka - super meth.

Once the combination of these meths reaches the state of methanelamphetamine (about 5 seconds), another indicator alarm built into the Boofalufagus will beep 3 times. Upon hearing the third "beep" the user will then use the sphincter muscles to essentially fart out the smoke. The amount of oxygen that will be pushed in through your anus will allow the user to fart on command. Flexible waist strap is included to prevent the clearly marked rectal insertion piece from falling out from the pressure created while expelling the smoke from rectum back to the now sealed chamber.

It is not recommended that this unit be shared with others unless proper sanitation measures are carried out first. Each end is clearly marked to prevent backward insertion of the device.

Once user has fluctuated (farted) the methanelamphetamine smoke into the tube, the gas will settle into a small chamber located beneath the bowl. We all know that girls don't fart, but that's ok! A separate fan attachment can be purchased which will assist in reversing the direction of the methanelamphetamine smoke into the chamber. Also great for when you have guests over and you want to save yourself the embarrassment of farting in front of them.

When meeting a girl from Tinder for the first time and you are enjoying smoking through your Boofalufagus pipe, it would also be highly recommended that the fan attachment be used to avoid farting in front of her if you want a second date. Gentlemen don't fart in front of ladies.

Once the full amount of methanelamphetamine smoke has settled in the chamber, a built in detector will flash a green light along with a 3 second "beeeeeep". That is the built in detector positively identifying the vapor as methanelamphetamine. At the end of the beep, the user will then inhale the fully processed and pure vapor deep into their lungs, hold for 1 second. Take a deep breath out forcing the wind back in through the chamber and anal cavity so the vapor is essentially recycled back and forth through the anus and mouth. After 4-5 of these deep breath/flatuation cycles, the green light will then turn red followed by 2 lower pitch beeps. This is the detector indicating to the user that a sufficient amount of product has been consumed (as indicated by the detector recognizing a lack of methanelamphetamine cycling back and forth).

Keep your eyes open as I am anticipating a world wide release date within the next week. Just in time for the holidays! With it being that special time of year, there will also be a "Christmas" addition Boofalufagus which will resemble a large candy cane.

"Splendid" you will think to yourself upon taking your first hit of Methanelamphetamine (not included) through your Boofalufagus. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!

tl;dr - New device that will turn your normal, everyday Methamphetamine into the extra powerful Methanelamphetamine!

UPDATE - Just released!!!! Official released diagram of the Boofallufagus along with a photo of 'Tom' (Our VP of Marketing) demonstrating proper Boofalufagusage......standby internet.

https://imgur.com/aRP9Zrq

https://imgur.com/9eReqgL

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5 years ago