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Found in r/restofthefuckingowl
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Okay, I know this is a jokey Sub-reddit, and leaving a serious comment may get me down votes and ridicule, but here we go.

It kinda is this easy.

Wait, hear me out. You see, I used to not have a lot of sex when I was younger. I would ask maybe only about 3 girls out a year, I would usually strike out. I would usually find someone I was really attracted to, and spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy figuring out what they liked, talking to them, planning what we might do together on future dates, but it would take weeks sometimes, and when I'd finally get up the nerve, I would usually get a no, or maybe a date or two that never really went anywhere.

But after about 5 years of applying this strategy, I realized a large amount of the girls told me three particular phrases:

  1. "Why didn't you tell me when we first met?" - Almost every single girl.
  2. "You know, my friend was crushing on you pretty hard." - Less than half, but I heard this at least 6 times. I usually wouldn't pursue their friend, or the friend wouldn't want to be "second choice."
  3. "Remember that night we were <insert description of night>? I thought you were trying to sleep with me, when it didn't happen, I figured you weren't interested. I probably would have at the time." - Heard almost verbatim about 3 times; some variation, about 5.

I then realized, after writing about this in my journal (because I'm such a MAN), that maybe my approach was wrong. I waited for my next social event, which wound up being somebody's birthday party, and decided to go off the deep end. I made a toast to the birthday girl, and ended it with, "Also, if anyone wants to sleep with me, I'll be making Cosmopolitans on the back porch." I had brought the stuff for Cosmopolitans, and just hung out on the porch, where the rest of the alcohol was. Every girl that came up and asked for a Cosmo or asked if I could make them I different drink, agreed and said, "So, sex now or later?" The first two giggled and politely said no. The third girl said, "Depends on how good the drink is." I was caught a bit off guard, and my super awkward self manged to only sputter out, "I'll try really hard, I promise."

It was in that moment, I realized I was flirting. I never really had before. I, in a lame attempt at conversation, make a stupid joke, I don't remember what it was about, I definitely remember her not laughing. I kept fumbling over my words, and kept making the whole thing super awkward, so much to the point that once I finished her drink she got up and left with only a polite, "have a good party." I was so flabbergasted and my anxiety kicked into high gear, I barely noticed girl number 4. She came up and asked for a drink. I attempted to regain my composure, and asked, "So, sex now or later?" She responded, "Had I known it was that easy to get you to put out, I would have asked for a drink a long time ago." It took me a second, but I realized but I recognized her, she wasn't a close friend, but we'd hung out in same social circles. I laughed and we got to talking a little bit, and about 15 minutes in, I stopped and said, "I'm really bad at this. Are you trying to sleep with me, or are we just joking around?" She got really, uncomfortably, quiet for a few seconds and, "Yeah, I didn't really know at first, but if that's where the evening heads, yeah. If you are really bad a this, just don't say anything stupid then when that parties over we'll head back to your place." I responded, "Ummm.... I live with my family? Up to, and including my parents." "Okay, my place then."

We then went back to her place and I have the most awkward sex in my life.

But I learned that night. Make a joke, put yourself out there, make sure people know that's what you want to do. It's really that easy. After this, I was shocked at how many women would sleep with me, just for basically asking. If I've learned anything, it's that women are a lot more like men. Think of a point in time where you wanted to sleep with literally anyone. Women have those moments too. A lot of it is learning when to say things and make yourself available. In the middle of a coffee shop? Probably not. Literally any social event? Yeah.

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6 years ago