The existence of "foreigners" is a common liberal myth. The self-styled intellectual elite, attempting to push their own petty agendas on the rest of us, invented the idea of "foreigners" to lay a guilt trip on the rest of the country.

FACT: Nothing exists outside the US! There is only vast ocean, we occupy the entirety of Pangea. (The existence of multiple continents is yet another liberal myth, which we'll discuss next time).

FACT: Although the "foreigners" lie was created and popularized by liberals, it has recently been picked up by conservatives. The Bush administration relies heavily on scare tactics involving hostile "foreigners" as a way of grabbing unconstitutional levels of power.

FACT: You may meet people in daily life who claim to be "foreigners" and illegal "immigrants". These people are merely telling you that false story because they're trying to get out of paying taxes.

FACT: "Foreign" languages are simply elaborate codes used by spies to talk in secret. These spies are everywhere, and they are determined to steal your genes for use in horrible cloning experiments. Don't trust anyone who speaks a "foreign" language!

FACT: The word "foreign" comes from the combination of "for" and "reign". The word was invented for reign-for perpetuating the reign of dishonest liberals and unconstitutional governments. Don't let them fool you!