Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. Ever since I was little, I got bad pains in my belly button. My dear mother always told me it was because of how they cut the umbilical cord. She made a homemade remedy that quickly soothed my pains. She would melt gouda cheese in a shoe in the fireplace and then slowly pour the melted gouda cheese into my belly button. She would then rub my belly, making sure the melted gouda cheese was safely in my belly button. She always sang a song to me that went a little something like this: "Oh my baby, here's some cheesy, that's been melted in a shoe, now I'm a pouring it into your belly button, so that it smells really nice for all the girls that come by." But, unfortunately, the melted gouda cheese only made my belly button smelly. That's why, to this day, I am a plague to everyone around me. No one wants to be within my vicinity, for fear that I may contaminate them with my smelly belly button.