I was only nine years old. I loved Game theory so much, I had all the merchandise. I'd pray to Matpat every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "MatPat is love", I would say, "MatPat is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Matpat. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I was laying in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's MatPat. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my theory". He grabs me with his powerful theorist hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for MatPat. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for MatPat. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please MatPat. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Matpat looks him straight in the eye, and says, "that's just a theory a game theory". MatPat leaves through my window. Matpat is love. MatPat is life.