While posting on an "adult" message board for erotic film enthusiasts I brought up how turned on I used to be as a kid about the prospect of seeing naked women in playboys and films like Porky's and how watching porn today can be a joyless almost numbing experience.

We all agreed that the most fun we ever had watching porn was during sleepovers at friends, one of our friends would bring out the tape and we'd see the hot chick on the box cover covering herself with a pillow and I'd have to stamp my feet as fast as I could on the carpet and chew on my t-shirt to keep from screaming for joy. The first time the woman would get naked we all couldn't believe it and we'd pause the movie and we'd have to cover our boners with our pillows and then go use the bathroom so we could jerk off.

Looking back on these sleepovers I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life, and it has been impossible to recapture that sense of naive joy and erotic wonder, even my first time having sex with a woman was a letdown by comparison.

We all agreed this was true and I came up with the idea of holding "sleepovers" and pretending we're 11 years old again, and several posters who lived in my area agreed this was a great idea.

A few dozen posts later we were able to work out some ground rules. One big rule is that we all had to be at least 18 years old (most of us are 35 and older). Each member has to try to hold at least one gathering every 3 months (there are 12 of us) and we have to stay in character at ALL times so as to not break the spell. (kind of like live action role playing)

The host of the party has to provide the material, usually old playboy tapes, Penthouse Magazines, and hardcore porn (must be from 1992 or before, preferable 80's "golden age" porn.

We all have to wear pajamas and bring chips and pop. We tend to play old nintendo games for an hour till the hosts "parents" go to bed then the host goes "look what I got guys!" then takes out the porn and we all jump around and high five and then wait with giddy expectation. During the movie we turn to each other and grin and talk about how horny we are and comment on the "action". Like if a women with huge breasts disrobes for a shower we have to pause the movie and go "whoaaaa!" "I'd like to suck on those" "Imagine if you touched her boobs with your penis!" "I heard that girls will put their mouth on your penis and lick it!" etc. There used to be a no masturbation rule but that was quickly nixed, the whole purpose of the gatherings is to feed off each others erotic energy the pent up erotic energy is too much to resist, we tend to all whip down our pajamas at the same time and masturbate , we try to keep a silly naive quality though and jokingly point at each others members and try to shout out different things when we cum. "That sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catchphrase.

Since starting these gatherings I have never felt more alive and my sex life with my wife couldn't be better, that is until one gathering where she caught an early flight home for the purpose of "surprising" me and ended up walking in on a dozen men masturbating in her living room. I will never forget the shocked look on her face and she immediately left and stayed at her sisters house.

I managed to talk to her and explain what she witnessed but she isn't really buying my story, she keeps going on about how I am having "gay sex orgies" behind her back (we never touch each other!!!) and that I am living a lie. She has even started to indicate that she wants a divorce!

Is there any way I can get her to understand what I have been doing? I love my wife and ironically have never been more attracted to her than I am now. I realize I had been somewhat childish and now realize that I have a gorgeous voluptuous woman that my 11 year old self would have sold his Super Nintendo and Bike just to be able to touch her naked breasts and I could lose her. Please help me get her back!