I don't know if I should ignore all of this and try to move on with my life or what. You guys have any idea?

Let me preface this with the fact that I took a DNA test, and I do have several SNPs for schizophrenia disposition.

I've had a very, very strange life. I've moved all around the country for the past 20 years. I've had great jobs in the Air Force, CDC, several start-ups. In 2011, though, things started getting strange. I'm not sure if everything or anything that happened fits into this possible puzzle I'm trying to solve, but if you're interested, I'll tell you.

What I'm really trying to figure out is what has happened since around my 33rd birthday (April 20, 2015), the day I was hospitalized for having really intense visions and being terrified. Unfortunately, some of the visions came true.

One was that "they" (whoever they are) were trying to build some sort of Zion in my hometown (Cochran, GA). I thought it had something to do with Bill Gates, who was the employee of my childhood doctor, Ed Roberts, who invented the personal computer--also, according to his step-son, a friend of mine, he worked at Area 51. And another friend of mine said he told her he was working on something "bigger than the internet" before he died. I also had a vision that it had something to do with the freemasons. Both sides of my family were into it, and my grandma was the Worthy Matron of the Order of the Eastern Star. I found an old pitcher and basin that belonged to her (I think I recall someone telling me they got it on a trip to California--possibly for something masonic, idk), and stamped on the bottom is "Calif 666". I also had a vision that I was somehow quantumly connected to a giant diamond.

A year later, my mom's cousin told me that her son was working on thousands of acres of land here that Bill Gates and some other billionaire bought here to be their "bug out spot". Then, in 2016, I was over at a friend's house (she just moved back to town--when I was a teenager she gave me a tattoo of a flame on my stomach. She also asked me if I wanted to help this musician with a song called "God damn love" (I'm a songwriter), and when I said I didn't know if I was comfortable with that, she said that I would one day or something). Anyway, I was over there one day, and this guy was ther who called himself "Trinity". He had a masonic ring on, and he pulled out his tablet pc, and it had the Order of the Eastern Star logo on it (upside down pentagram with "fatal" written around it). I told him my grandma was the Worthy Matron, and he took me to a back room. He told me I was a star, and that there were other stars in Warner Robins. He said my parents must have paid a high price for me. He pulled out a dollar bill and pointed to the all-seeing eye. He said something about "Heaven, Hell, Earth; Father, Son, Holy Ghost". I asked him if he could tell me more, and he said no, that he'd have to show me. But it freaked me out. Then he gave me a skeleton key with a diamond star attached to it. My mom took it from me. I told my aunt about it, whose husband is a mason, and a while later, she said the masons got a newsletter saying to disregard any rumors about a skeleton key.

I started getting this amazing resonance feeling in my body (it's hard to explain, but I never felt it before) that resonated with certain things I heard or thought. The first time I remember getting it was when I reading the Bible. I got the resonance feeling that I was the reincarnation of King David. I also got it that my next door neighbor's son was Jonathan, I think. He was straight, but one night I was thinking about him and getting the resonance feeling, and the next day he told me that at the same time he had a vision of me giving him a blowjob.

I got the resonance feeling about several things, including that Jesus died because he loved people and he was trying to spread Kaballah. In the Bible, John said that the "Spirit of Truth" would come to you and only speak what it heard, which sounded like what was happening to me. Also it says that you can test a spirit to see if it's from God if it says that Jesus came in the flesh, which it did. But the resonance identified itself as the Shekinah, Sakina, Shakti, and serpent in the Garden of Eden. Once I was listening to a yogi joking about how many Hindu gods they were. He said they stopped at 3 million because they lost creativity. For some reason whales popped in my head, and I got the resonance feeling. When I googled how many whales there were, it said that there were 3 million whales before 1900 (it doesn't give you that automatic answer now, though). Also once I was in a psych ward, and the word "brahmin" popped in my head, and I got the resonance feeling that this doctor was one. I asked him, and he looked really surprise and nervous and nodded his head "yes" rapidly, but he told me we needed to concentrate on me.

I also got the resonance feeing that Tori Amos was somehow talking about me in the song "Hey Jupiter" (Hey Jupiter, nothing's been the same, so are you gay, are you blue, thought we both could use a friend to run to). I'm gay and blue. My AOL screenname was theboyisblue, and this old black man who hangs out at the gas station and doesn't seem to age told me I play the "blue note". Incidentally, the other day I saw him there, and I was suffering so much, and he asked about my best friend, and I told him he was murdered. I was talking about how I was ready to leave this world, and he said "it's just like one, two, three". Well, Tori has another song with the lyrics, "the camera is rolling, it's easy, like one, two, three", which I had associated with death. Tori also has other songs that refer to my dad's name (Bobby), in a way that seems like him, "Mrs. C" (my mom's name is Connie, in a way that seems like her, and "Bill and Ben". She also came out with a song recently called "Benjamin", which sounds like it's describing me in very specific ways, and she says "tell me where, tell me when, I'll meet you", and that she was in my (?) army. I got the resonance feeling htat she was Lilith, also. She's best friends with Neil Gaiman, who wrote American Gods. I had a friend who was friends with Neil. I tried to write Tori and Neil, but I never got a response. Oh, and about Jupiter, I found out afterwards that Isaac Asimov hypothisized that the core of Jupiter was a giant diamond. And Jupiter is called the "King David" planet in Judaism. They think that when something happens to Jupiter, it happens to Israel. Well, I almost died from mycoplasma pneumonia when it was impacted back in the 90s. Also, the number of my name in Hebrew is 541, which is the same as "Israel" and is a Star of David number.

Regarding numerology, I found that if you perform the equation (number of letters * product of letters)/(number of words * product of words) on the Hebrew of Genesis 1:1 (In the beginning..), you get pi to 5 accurate digits. If you perform the same equation on the Greek of John 1:1 (In the beginning)..) you get e to 5 accurate digits (euler's number--the other mathematical constant of the universe). If you concactenate and square the sums, you get alpha, the fine structure constant in physics. Interestingly, Carl Jung, the psychologist, was into Kaballah and somehow hypothesized alpha.

When I looked up the number of my dad's name in e, I found that the preceding digits of its position (399) are 31014, the zip code of my hometown. The preceding digits of my number is the zip code of San Jose, the capital of Silicon Valley (I always worked in IT--I don't know if it's a sign that I should get a job there or what).

Anyway, on August 14, 2016 I was visiting the same friend, and when I got home (my mom said I'd only been home for a few minutes), I laid down in bed. I closed my eyes (I wasn't tired), and I felt like I saw the end of the world. I don't remember what I saw, I was just left with the feeling. When I opened my eyes, hovering above the end of my bed were two metallic looking rings perpendicular to each other, intertwined kind of. I was in shock--couldn't scream or anything. I had never seen anything like this in my life (never had a visual hallucination other than once I saw an orb of light). The next day, the first recommended video of YouTube was about the NWO. In it there was an old etching of Ezekiel's vision of the wheel within the wheel, which looked like what I saw. I googled the date to see if anything interesting had happened, and apparently someone put a cube on the Georgia Guidestones the year before that had the numbers 8 14 20 16.

Oh yeah, so once I was in a hotel room and begging God to give me a sign or something because I felt so bad and so alone. The phone immediately rang, and when I asked who it was, they said "God". It was my friend Franco, though. So for a bit I thought Franco might actually be God somehow, which I was fine with. Anyway, shortly after, I was very emotionally reading the Psalms, and I had my first and only "auditory hallucination" out of nowhere. It was like my eardrums were actually vibrating like someone was there talking. It was Franco's voice, and it said in a very silly faggy kind of way, "Ohhhh you just sold your soul to the devil."

Oh, and this guy from Saudi Arabia randomly messaged me on Facebook and sent a picture of a friend of mine in Berlin who used to live here and said "This is your mother, she is very nice". I told her about it on Facebook (in a joking way), and she immediately called me and told me I should come to Berlin (but she didn't mention her being my mom). I'm pretty sure my mom is my real mom, though, but that's still fucking weird. Oh, also my mom's maiden name is Young, which is weird because of the whole virgin birth thing, since the actual word was "alma", which means young woman. Can all this be a coincidence? What the fuck is going on? Am I just insane? I don't really know if I feel like taking part in some cosmological drama. Should I just try to ignore it and move on? I also experience synchronicites all the time--like other peoples' conversations will answer my thoughts without them knowing. And I've had several that I should quit smoking, but I still haven't. Oh, and during the eclipse I was invited to this pagan sanctuary, and a LOT of weird fukcing shit happened then related to that and other stuff, but I'm tired of typing. If you want to know more, just ask.

Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated.