When I first got into college, I was just an innocent girl that got out of a relationship after my ex cheated on me but like I was pretty innocent and a gullible.

I always wanted to a join a sorority because of what I watched in the movies . But I later found out that it wasn’t like that at all.

I am an okay looking girl, and I know it, which is why when I applied to the sorority , I was first denied cause I didn’t fit. Cause it was either hot girls or popular girls . And I was neither.

But I later got told by a girl in there that there’s other ways to join in , but they were mainly rough and pretty sexual.

I let her convince me .. because I had no friends in college yet and I wanted to join in just to feel like I belong somewhere. And she took advantage of that desperation and at first it was only her . She was using me sexually for her own pleasure. With a lot of dom / sub stuff and a lot of humiliation and establishing that she is superior to me. And I just did what she wanted. Not because I wanted to but because I followed her lead cause that’s how I am as a person.

But things got worse cause she started making it more public , with other friends or male friends she had .

Basically , she used me so she can be « one of the boys »

Like she would let them do very extreme things to me and she would do it for their pleasure just cause that made them like her more . And I was just seen as the ugly desperate girl who had no voice and no matter what they did and how extreme it was , they felt okay because she allowed it and didn’t stop them.

It was extreme .

And I just never knew how to stop it and just felt like I’m in too deep that I was just doing things.. And those thing slowly became things my body enjoyed and got off to even if my mind was humiliated .

It was such a weird feeling , hating something that’s happening to me yet feeling that my body is enjoying it and taking control and slowly developing a liking to it .

But yes that was my relationship with her . I was stupid and blinded by her lies but she basically never saw me as equal , I was just a tool for her . Some days she uses me to give her pleasure . Other times she would randomly just use me as a token or a bridge to gain herself a place within those bully men cause she used me to enabled their sick and twisted fantasies and made it okay for them to do it and gave them a way to do it . While she joined in and did whatever for their validation . And gaslight me that it was okay and worth it sqying things like " a girl like you would never have had a change with those guys , never have a chance with girls like us" and so on and would get angry at me if I ever question it or want it to stop and even threaten me . She and a few other girls that were similar to her , they were evil. but she has an ever lasting effect on my sexual life because of the kinks i developped with her

i just wanted to vent and discuss and answer questions , so feel free