This was before entering college . I was dating my ex for years. We were both nerdy and geeky. I never was someone who was seen as good looking but he was also just very geeky like me. He was older than me and he joined college . And started working out and started looking good and hanging with cool groups. The dynamic felt so shifted between us and I felt like alor has changed whenever he came to visit me . But I still loved him so I didn’t say much.

He would come and visit me and stay the weekend at mine.

I had a roommate . I would say she wasn’t special neither but she was a confident girl.

Anyway, one day when he was sleeping at mine . I woke up middle of the night wanting to pee . And he wasn’t next to me, and I heard fucking from my roommates room. I heard them fucking ..

I was so shocked , I even cried .. but I was so weak , I didn’t know what to do, I am so bad at confrontation .. I just ended up staying in bed .. and I didn’t say anything and pretended to be asleep once he came back to sleep next to me..

I hated how weak I felt and how I didn’t know what to say. And having to just think of it while with them acting oblivious.

It kept happening whenever he would visit me.. and my roommate would become even louder with time .. as if she didn’t care if I heard her ..

I also feel embarrassed and ashamed to say that sometimes I felt turned on hearing it .. maybe because I was needy and he didn’t give me attention but yes.. it felt pathetic whenever I felt that.

Anyways, after a few weeks of it happening, he was around for the weekend , it happened as usual, and then he left on Monday. Later that evening , my roommate just confronted me about it . She said that she knows that I know , and that it was obvious he was cheating and she was too loud for me to not hear it. She said she didn’t expect me to be that pathetic and not say anything about it.. kinda mocked me .. and I did feel so embarrassed and pathetic that she knows that I knew and didn’t say anything…

She was brutal to me… said that he been cheating on me in his college for a while and that I am just stupid to not see it and stupid to not expect to be cheated on..

She then manipulated me.. telling me that for me to not say a thing and just accepted I must enjoy or I must be afraid of losing him . Which I agreed that I was afraid of losing him.

That’s the first time I ever been called a beta. She said that if I don’t want to lose him I should just suggest to him an open relationship … i hated that but she just manipulated me and convinced me into letting him openly cheat on me while he calls me his girlfriend still ..

It then turned into just him openly cheat on me. Like it was rude .. he would come over and not hide his fling with her . Or bring random girls home to sleep with them .. I hated it but again it was my own mistake for letting my roommate manipulate me.

And my roommate just treated me like an inferior always , I sort of became her play thing because I was just so weak to her for what she found out about me and embarrassed and she took advantage of that to humiliate me for her fun.

She was such an alpha even tho our looks were on the same level . She just was so confident and dominant . And was the reason I found out about it and turned into beta .

My bf ended up leaving me few months after i let him do everything he wanted for nothing..

Then me and my roommate joined college and she continued ruining any chance I had for self redemption in my college and sorority . But that’s a story for later I guess