I M26 have always considered myself straight. I'm not romantically attracted to men, in fact I can't recall ever really being attracted to one physically, other than acknowledging attractiveness. Yet I also know I have a type, I guess I just never see them in reality.

Regardless, I have been in a hetero relationship with F24 for two years. Everything is great, I love her very much. Sex is great. We have fun. Love and shop each other everyday. I should clarify here that I have not cheated on her or misstepped from being loyal to her. In the past I have had moments of flirting with men online. Honestly starting from my teen years. Its a rare occurrence but I found a lot of entertainment in turning men on. I love turning women on too. Even more so. I guess I just like to have the option and enjoy being capable of making a man hard.

With men I always find myself being more of a "bottom". Where with women I'm very much a "top". In both regards I find the most pleasure in pleasing.

There have been three occurrences where I have met up with men. All older than me. Each time was very abrupt and anonymous.

They never knew my name. We never chatted. I came over, got down on my knees for them, and then left. I love that thrill. It makes me feel slutty and it's very exciting.

Lately, I've been struggling with the desire and appetite to do that again. I miss the feeling of a cocks soft feel on my tongue, I miss feeling the warmth on my face, I miss the pulse of each throb as it grows larger and larger in my mouth. I miss dragging my tongue from the balls, over the shaft and around the head. I miss watching another man cum from my touch.

love a hot cock. And lately I can't stop thinking about holding one in my mouth again. It makes me feel pretty, and sexy. I know just one man would probably satisfy the itch I have for it for a long time. Maybe a year or two, since that seems to be the general time it takes for these cravings to come back.

This is the first time l've been in an exclusive relationship while feeling this way.

I miss the adventure. Ultimately it's meaningless. I just love sex, and I miss having the option to do this one thing in particular that I can't do with my partner.

I'm not planning on cheating. But these thoughts of having my lips stroking the shaft of a beautiful cock have been making my own twitch and pulse. I feel guilty walking around with an erection in my pants from just the thought of swallowing cum. But I can't escape these thoughts.

I miss it very much.