Incest feels wrong but addictive. Once you start, you just want more even if it feels gross at times.

Hi. I (26m) have been in a sexual relationship for the past 3 years with my 63 year old widowed neighbour who happens to be a relative of mine. She raised me as a child and to her and uncle I have always been the son they never had (they have a single child daughter -in her early 40s settled in Australia). I am closer to her than my biological parents and I call her aunty Amma because she has always been more like my mother than my actual mother. Uncle passed away 3 years back after fighting cancer for almost 7 years. As a son, I organised the funeral and opted to stay with aunty Amma at the behest of my parents and her daughter who had to return to Australia soon after the funeral. It was during that 4 month long stay that things got spicy between us and we started a sexual relationship.

We been together for the past 3 years and we can no longer stay apart from each other for more than a month. To everyone around us including both our families, we are a mother and son and our families are very insistent on me either staying with aunty Amma when I can or taking her with me (I work in a different city). As such, we get to spend a lot of time together without causing suspicions. And we spend most of our time together naked in bed or the couch fucking or resting and cuddling post sex. The thing that makes it weird is that in my mind and hers, we are fucking each other as a mother and son, not as neighbours or relatives. I call her aunty Amma and she calls me. Appu as we always have and we havre these talks about how I want aunty Amma to be mine and not anybody else’s. Yes sometimes we do have the awkward post fuck clarity where we feel gross and as though we are sinning and so on. We have that conversation about how a mother and son can’t have what we have and how we should stop it. But almost always all it does is turn us both hornier and. We go another round. We know it’s wrong and gross, but we just can’t get ourselves to stop. No matter how much we fuck, we want more. I don’t want anybody else to touch her and I want to be the one to satisfy her sexual desires. And as far as I know, it’s the same for me too.

It’s just so addictive. And I doubt I would have fucked her had it not been for the mother son bond we share. We both had tried to stop it but just can’t. Off late we have tried resisting it and we have learnt to accept that our relationship is just different and tabo and we have learnt to embrace it.

Has anyone else here had these conflicting thoughts ?