A year ago my ex texted me while I was with my current boyfriend. It was nothing serious, just catching up and saying hi. We ended up talking for a few days before moving our conversation to an app where you send pictures (let’s call it Flick). Although I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was careful with my phone around my boyfriend.

Things quickly escalated on Flick when my ex sent me a picture of him shirtless. The picture contained normal conversation like it was no big deal but he knew what he was doing. My ex was in much better shape than my current boyfriend so I was naturally turned on. I decided to send a picture of me covering my boobs with my arm, and the pictures only progressed from there. It happened so quickly I didn’t have time to feel guilty. Over the next few months we Flicked on and off in the same capacity. During this time I doubled down and started Flicking other guys from my past. Some familiar, some that I barely knew from Tinder.

I haven’t physically cheated but I do consistently think about other men when my boyfriend and I have sex. It gets me hornier than he ever could on his own. I don’t plan to stop.