i (F) have a male cousin and he would often make me watch porn videos when i was around 8 and he was like 10. one time when our house was put into renovation i had no choice but to sleep on their house. i remember waking up to him waking me because he wanted to do something and so i subdued. i followed him on their kitchen and he made me suck his part until he reached his limit. і grew a little addicted to it so in the next nights, i was the one who initiated to start. there was a time where he thigh fucked me and attempted to put it inside but it just caused me pain so bad that's why he continued fucking only my thigh and outer V. something i'm really guilty of is when we did it just next to his grandfather. he sucked my boobs and i sucked his d. we had done it multiple times and it made me feel so disgusted in the following years. but then, i already outgrew it. he now have his own family and we're in good conditions, we never talked about it again but i guess that fueled my desire to experience the same thing again (not with him obv). we were never caught (i hope so) but his sister was aware of it. did you have similar experience?