Am I a freak or are there others in the same shape as me?

To start, I was a virgin until late in college. I never had much confidence around women. I wouldn’t call myself an amazing lover even when I would fuck. I met my wife when I was working at a Naval Hospital as the IT guy for a large defense contractor. She was a very pretty Navy Corpsman, and I was able to strike up a conversation with her as I installed the computers in her hospital clinic. We enjoyed being together and I wined and dined her as I had some money and she had none. I came to learn even as we were friends, she was a bit of a slut. We’ll in reality, a big slut. She liked to fuck a lot of different guys, even doctors in the hospital and all the while, we were just friends.

It came to a time when she was getting out of the Navy, and I was ready for something new. I got a very good paying job in Dallas for a big tech company, and I offered her to come stay with me as she had zero options and didn’t have anything to go back home to. So, she took me up on it. We eventually started a more romantic relationship, I proposed to her and to my surprise she accepted.

The first year of our marriage was great. We fucked non-stop and I would occasionally ask her to tell me about the guys she had sex within the Navy and even high school. I loved hearing about it. I encouraged her to keep playing if that’s what she wanted. It took some convincing but one a drunk trip back from a wedding we attended, she ended up fucking a wine salesman of all people. Not who I expected to be her first.

She was hooked though and so was I. She was then forever a hotwife and I was a cuckold who became more and more pathetic. To get to the point I masturbate so much think of all the different guys who fuck her that I can’t even cum in her when we do fuck. I have to end up masturbating myself as she describes being fucked but some big, cocked guy.

Curious if there are other cucks who have had similar journeys. Sadly, I’ll admit that even though she still super sexy, I get off more to the idea of her fucking others while I jerk myself off than actually being intimate with her.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I created and continue to dig deeper into this world. I just feel like there is no getting out of it.