Ok me Vale 23 femboy friend 21 femboy let's call him Jason

During lockdown the first one I was feeling really down and my self esteem was down in the dumps so went on grinder mostly for validation or hope that I'm still attractive to somebody then a cute guy adds me tells me his name we flirt he shares he's a gamer/femboy like myself and even though we would flirt with each other we mostly just talk about life video games and sent selfies in fem clothing first few months just talking per usual then he sends nudes.

At first I was surprised as I never considered myself attractive when he legit looks like a underwear model maybe I'm bias but his eyes especially just kill me I send nudes back and things just escalate from there we get kind of really attracted to each other more so then most people I'm comfortable with but we stay in this kind of friendship/relationship/master slave dynamic ? Hard to pin down exactly what it is which tends to change every few months until nearly a year passes. We both are desperate to meet at this point I just begun a undergrad degree and he wanted to join the navy so we took a kind of break still talk daily but less sexual more life based a few more months go by we try to meet for the first time but he's sick and I'm broke because college rewind to now.

I currently have a decent paying job and we plan to meet in ,2, weeks but for the first time in my life I'm really fucking nervous like he's the only person to see me from my best moments to my worse knows me almost better than I know myself and even though I have two weeks I'm honestly really worried/nervous/happy and like a feeling of deep need beyond rational thinking what sounds truly insane but how I feel right now all at once what ever emotion you would Label it more than any lust/love/affection that I've felt before so how do I get over these jitters because I want the moment not to be bad or neagtive for him even if anything went wrong I truly think we would stay close friends we both wanted this so long but now I'm just having a wave of emotions about it please help anyone 🥺