I’m a childcare teacher. Been in the field for 4 years now. I had a student (J) who was in my class when I was in the infant room. Some employees got moved around and I ended up in the toddler room, again being J’s teacher. I had a well and professional relationship with his mom and dad. They’re great and easy-going parents.

Last year, his parents moved houses resulting in J’s unenrollment from the childcare. Being in good standing with his parents, they both added me on Facebook. We occasionally meet up during events of mutual friends (birthdays, baby showers, etc.) and we get along well. J is 2 now and his parents say he just adores me.

J’s mom messages me on Facebook asking if I’d be interested in babysitting J for an evening. Basically, mom is flying out of town to visit family for a week and while dad is available to look after J, he has a work event on Friday night. I happily agreed and once I got off work Friday, I drove to their house.

Dad thanked me for looking after him and left, leaving me and 2-year-old J. I do my thing, take care of him, bath time, dinner, story time, bed time, etc. It’s around 9/10pm when dad comes back from his work event.

I tell him that I just finished putting J to sleep and he thanks me for the help. He says he brought some leftovers from the work event and asked if I wanted them. I happily said yes and told him I’d eat them tomorrow for brunch. I remember he says, “Why not eat them here? They’re still warm. It won’t taste as good if you wait to eat them. Doesn’t taste as good reheated.” I haven’t eaten since my work lunch earlier at noon and I didn’t want to be rude so I followed him into the kitchen. He set up a plate for me and we sat in the kitchen.

He asked if I drank. I wasn’t too understanding of the question but I said yes (water, juice, soda,) he proceeded to pour a cup of wine for himself and I. Once I understood, I clarified that I wasn’t much of an alcohol drinker; I’ve never had wine before. He exclaims “well you have to try this one. It’s fruity and sweet. (Wife’s name) loves it.” and pushes the cup of wine forward. Again, I didn’t want to be rude so I drank it in a few gulps. “Wow you drank that up quick. You must’ve really like it. Here have some more.”

I have another cup in front me. I haven’t even touched the food yet, nor has he touched his cup of wine. Take some bites of fancy dinner, small talk, drink wine. I felt an odd feeling in my stomach. Wasn’t sure if it was my gut telling me something was off or if it was the alcohol. I don’t remember how many cups of wine I drank while his initial cup stayed full. Before I knew it, the room was spinning.

I don’t remember much of what happened after. I blink and suddenly I’m hanging on to his arm as we walk down a hallway. I blink and suddenly I’m laying down on a bed. Whenever I tried to sit up, it felt like gravity was pushing me back down. I blink and I felt his hand going up my skirt. I blink and he was pushing my head down, his pants weren’t on. I have all of these little pieces of the night but I don’t have a memory exactly of what happened.

I wake up Saturday morning to fucking Sesame Street playing in the background. I’m in J’s house still, laying down on the living room couch with a blanket thrown over me. I frantically sit up and look around. My head is throbbing and my body just feels sore. J runs over to me, waffle in hand and goes, “Good Morning Ms. (my name)!” I just stare at him, couldn’t even mutter out a “hi” to this kid. Dad calls out, telling J to come sit back down.

As he runs back to the kitchen, dad walks up to me. I quietly ask what happened last night. He looked pissed. “What happened was I got back from my work event and you were drunk off of my wife’s wine.” That didn’t feel true. At least I don’t think that’s true. I try to correct him. “No. We were eating. And then you gave me the wine and then we,” I didn’t remember clearly so I stopped mid-sentence. “We didn’t do anything and why on earth would I give you wine? I’m paying you to look after my kid not get drunk like some irresponsible college girl.”

I was stunned. I didn’t know how to react. I’m not even sure what happened last night anymore. “Listen whatever you think happened, it didn’t. You were drunk off your mind when I came home last night so god knows what you were thinking. You were on the couch, drunk and you tried to get on me, I practically had to push you off. Jesus, (my name) I’m married for fuck’s sakes. How about we make a deal. I pay you the babysitting money and some extra. I won’t tell (wife’s name) that you drank her wine, tried to seduce her husband, and got drunk while on the job and you never mention to anyone what you think happened last night, because it. didn’t. happen.” I’ve never felt so confused in my life. We have two different tales of what happened the same night. I felt/knew that something happened between us. He suggested that I went home to “think about what you did.”

He gave me $200 and told J to say bye to me. I drive home, take an advil and lay in bed. The following Monday, J’s mom messages me, thanking me for taking care of J. It’s been a month since that night. I haven’t seen/talked to either of J’s parents. I feel gross. I’m sorry but this isn’t something I can just “never mention to anyone.”

EDIT TO ADD: I have scheduled a series of drug tests (oral/urine/blood and hair) and a STD/STI test within the next few weeks. I’m working with my university’s mental health services to get a therapist. No pregnancy tests as there has been no changes to my period, my period came in time last week. I messaged J’s mom asking if we could privately talk in person soon. We’re scheduled to meet up on Wednesday this week, just me and her. I’m terrified as I don’t want to lose her and J. But she needs to know. It’s not their fault dad is a predator.

Thank you for everyone who helped me open my eyes to see what happened was not ok. I’ve known him for years and didn’t want to believe that he was capable of such a thing, especially as he told me that what I thought happened wasn’t true. As some pointed out, I accepted the wine, thus I accepted the advances. This made me believe that it was an affair, but it wasn’t. For those who don’t believe me, that’s ok. You don’t have to. It was real to me.

FINAL UPDATE: Spoke to J’s mom at my house as I no longer felt comfortable/safe in hers. I told her everything the best way I could. She appeared doubtful of me at first until I mentioned the damn wine. Apparently shortly after she flew back into town, she noticed that there was something wrong with her wine. It was a brand new bottle which wasn’t supposed to be opened. She tried it and it tasted watered down.

She asked J’s dad about it who “had no clue about it.” Tried to tell her that she probably bought it that way. She knew this wasn’t true and pried him about it. He tried to blame me. Her exact words were, “(J’s dad name) tried to tell me that you drank it while babysitting J. I know that’s bullshit. One, you’re more responsible than that and two, all of our shit is locked up since J managed to get through the baby-locks.” Which is true. With J getting more mobile and curious, they locked up a lot of things that he may try to get to (ex: cleaning supplies, medications, alcohol, etc.) the only people with the keys are the two of them. She didn’t buy his whole “the babysitter drank the wine while we were out of the house” story and he hates wine so she knows for a fact he didn’t drink it.

I told her my story of what happened. I showed her the email confirmations of my upcoming appointments. With it being over a month since it happened, she’s doubtful that anything will show up on the drug tests I have scheduled. She asked me what I’ve done and what I wanted to do. She asked if I wanted to report it. Part of me didn’t want to but I know the “correct answer” is to report it.

She drove me to the police department. On the drive, I asked her why she was doing this. I didn’t think she was going to believe me. I didn’t think confining in her would go anywhere. She said she didn’t want to believe that he would do something like this but she wasn’t surprised. I asked her what the hell she meant by that. She didn’t answer me so I asked if he did something to her. Turns out, J isn’t supposed to exist. He told her “it was a mistake” and that “it’ll never happen again.” She believed him, and I’m paying the price for it, 2 and a half years later.

I gave my statement and declined a rape kit. It’s been a month, the evidence is gone but a report has been filed. That’s all I feel comfortable saying and that’s probably all I will say.

CLARIFICATIONS:

He asked if you drank. He clearly meant alcohol.

English isn’t my first language and I tend to take things in a literal sense so I genuinely didn’t understand his question. I thought it was a dumb/funny question until he gave me a cup of wine.

Why did you accept the drink?

It was a Friday night. I worked from 6am until J’s dad got back from his work event. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in months. Figured, why not? He was my friend, who I trusted. I should have no reason to have my guard up while at a friend’s house.

You have a similar situation involving a melatonin gummy.

Yeah, I’m terribly unlucky. This event made me think back to that one. I’m no longer with him and I am no longer in contact with him.