My older sister always had a desperate need to control me, since we were children she always had to have control which led to violent fights. My dad was emotionally distant and left her in charge as the oldest meaning I was to listen to her, but to my sister that meant I had to submit. We eventually got a stepmother and I made the mistake of having my own thoughts and opinions and I had another needing me to submit. And while I did my best to overcome it all and be angry and intimidating I still had that programming that said abuse was normal and it led to two relationships where I was emotionally and sexually abused for years till I finally got the push I needed to see what was wrong with the situation I was in. Sister never grew out of her resentment to this day whenever we see each other she peppers everything with put downs, back handed compliments and absolutely anything she can try do to prove that she is somehow superior to me. I may have finally grown a backbone enough to get me out of those abusive situations and even grown up enough to see what my issues were that kept me there but I always wonder if I hadn’t been programmed by her ego and insecurities at a young age if I wouldn’t have been as vulnerable to them.