I meant to get high off of some medicine but I fucked up and went too far, felt like I was dying and got scared as hell. I'd thought it would give me a life changing trip to help me change my life around because I'm severely depressed and thought this high would help me see things or something to help me change my life around. Instead I got a trip to the hospital and told everyone it was an attempted suicide because I was too afraid to admit that I actually meant to get high and fucked up. So I guess I did get one hell of a trip just not what I was expecting. Now everyone is supporting/checking up on me making sure I'm okay. Good people. I had pointed a loaded gun to my head and harmed myself before if that even matters. But I won't lie though, if this didn't happen then I would've attempted it with a gun I even had it all planned out too. So this experience actually saved my life even though I traumatized my family. I believe there are some things that people don't need to know the truth of in life but I swore to my family I'd never harm myself ever again and promised on changing/being better and yes I do actually plan on keeping my promises. I feel shitty for lying and hurting everyone but honestly this experience did save my life and if my family didn't know I was suicidal now then I'd most likely be dead right now since I was planning on using a gun. Now I'm finally getting the help I needed because I was to scared to get help before. Should I come clean or take this with me to the grave? This happened a little over a week ago.