I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but I just need to get it off my chest. I just touched myself while thinking about my best guy friend. We’ve known each other forever, and he’s never been anything but sweet and respectful toward me. The thought of him finding out makes me feel awful.

He’s the type of guy who has his life together.. kind, funny, always there when I need him. I don’t even think he realizes how attractive he is. But the thing is, I know he wouldn’t see me that way, and that makes this even worse. I feel like I’ve crossed a line in my head that I can’t uncross.

It wasn’t planned or anything. I was lying in bed, and my mind just drifted to him. The way he smiles, how he laughs, the little things he does that make my heart race. Before I knew it, I was imagining what it would feel like to be close to him, to feel his hands on me. And then, I couldn’t stop.

Now, I feel guilty as hell ahahah..