I took my ex back after he cheated and now everyone thinks I’m a joke

Okay, so here goes. I don’t even know how to feel about this anymore, but I need to get it off my chest. A few months ago, I found out my boyfriend (now ex) was cheating on me. He’d been seeing this girl behind my back for almost six months, and when I found out, it was like my whole world came crashing down. I was devastated, heartbroken, you name it. Everyone—friends, family—told me to leave him. That I deserved better. I agreed, I even started making plans to get my life back on track without him.

But, of course, I didn’t. Instead, I took him back.

I don’t know what happened, but when he begged me, crying, saying how much he messed up and how sorry he was... I broke. I honestly didn’t expect to feel anything for him anymore, but I did. I missed him. And, yeah, I guess I still loved him. I know it sounds stupid. But I forgave him. I gave him another chance. I thought, maybe this time things would be different.

Fast forward to now. A few weeks later, he’s back to being the same guy. Same sneaky behavior, same lack of respect, but now I’m stuck. I feel like an idiot for believing his “sorry” and giving him another shot. I feel like everyone is judging me. My friends? They all think I’m a joke. Every time his name comes up, I can see the disappointment in their faces. They all told me not to go back to him, but here I am—acting like nothing happened.

The worst part is, I don’t even know if I can leave again. I don’t want to admit that I’m stuck in this toxic cycle. Part of me wants to just walk away, but I feel like I’ve already made a fool of myself too many times to go back now.

Am I just asking for it? Am I wrong for even considering walking away from everything again?