So this started off quite small but then became a really big issue – and I’m not sure I can end it.

Everyone knows that women’s sports are not paid as well as men’s. This means it’s always hard to get by, but with brands, sponsorship and media work you can make it add up. But when Covid hit, things got really bad.

I tried to keep in the public eye doing bits of charity work, but things were looking really bad money wise. Then in quick succession I got two offers. One from a high profile media man, the other from a beneficiary of the charity I was working for, both reaching out to offer an arrangement.

For those that don’t know, arrangements like this are common in sport. Basically a wealthy man offers a regular payment in exchange for an agreed number of meets, which often are just sex.

Never though I’d even consider such an offer and couldn’t believe someone was reaching out with such a high profile, in such a powerful position to make it.

The offers were ignored for about two months but burnt a hole in my inbox. Could barely think about anything else. Eventually the amount of money they offered was too much, and with quite a lot of shame I got in touch with both.

Initial conversations were friendly but both were keen to speed things along and within two weeks I’d done my first meets with both. Because of lockdown we had to meet at their homes.

Both made it clear that the amount of money they were investing meant they got full access and there were no real limits as to what they could do. Both wanted me dressed in my tournament kits, and both wanted to film.

The media man had me restrained for 2 hours that first meet.

The older guy was less intense but somehow more degrading. Lots of kissing, lapdances in my kit. Again all on camera.

Of course as soon as they had this significant leverage the amount of money they were offering started to drop, until today they’re now getting to use an international sports star for considerably less than the price of an average gym membership.

As a role model and public figure I can’t believe I’ve ended up in this situation. But I know I’m far from the the first and won’t be the last…

Feels kinda liberating to actually be writing it down.