You’ll probably have a certain image of me based on what you’re about to read. I want you to know that despite all of the below you would never tell I am struggling with this. I am relatively social, have a great group of friends, I have a muscular body and workout and run everyday. I have a job and I’m studying. I’m not a virgin and have had girlfriends and do have a fwb currently.

I also want you to know that there’s no horrible thing you can say that I haven’t said worse to myself. I feel shame and shame is what drives my addiction. The more you shame me, the worse it gets.

Never thought I’d be writing something like this. Never thought I could actually become this addicted to something.

The journey here is way too long to document. I started watching porn at 11, I’m 21 now. All I know is that around two years ago my addiction started to spiral and get worse.

It started with hypnosis porn, where you stroke while a hypnotist is hypnotising you to get worse, to fall deeper into addiction, that you’ll never be able to stop. I remember her saying it would be a sweet slippery slope, that I wouldn’t know what wa happening until it did. I thought it was all fake. Now I see.

I can’t go a day without porn and masturbating. Social media triggers me like hell. Girls in tight leggings and gym shorts. Everywhere. Thighs send me off the edge. I’m triggered so easily by everything.

I can’t look people in the eyes anymore especially the day after watching some weird porn or doing something shameful.

I sent nude pictures of my ex with face blurred to large telegram groups because hearing everyone talk about them sexually gets me fkd.

I’ve masturbated so much that I cannot cum like I used to anymore. These days I can barely get or maintain an erection. Most times I’ll just lose my erection halfway through stroking. If I cum it’s usually just a drop or two sometimes I orgasm and nothing comes out.

If you put a sexy naked real woman infront of me I would not be aroused at all. Infact I’d rather fuck a woman while with an iPad in her abdomen showing porn. It gets worse.

I’ve started masturbating in public in parks at night where I take all my clothes off and masturbate or on the back of buses and trains in the daytime. The thrill turns me on and it’s the only thing that gets me hard and excited.

I’ve masturbated to literally every type of porn. Every type.

I can’t concentrate anymore. I can’t sit still or study. I feel depressed and lethargic.

I’m thinking of buying a chastity cage and kicking the key away in a box.

I’m desperate. This is not just a post it’s a cry for help.