I don't really expect any engagement with this but i need to say it.

Just a throwaway post...not on a throwaway account lol, maybe it will bite me in the ass but i don't care

I think i truly do love him...yet he's my best friend. He isn't into relationships because his parents are divorced and he believes love is a "chemical reaction in the brain" which it is but does that really make it invalid? I dont know.

We make out sometimes but I do think we truly care about each other...he bought me a necklace with a yin yang because he knows it holds alot od importance to me. We can talk for hours about random shit like horror movies for example. I think I truly understand him as well...some people will say he's "dumb" which makes me mad because he's really smart but he has a hard time expressing words the way he wants them...if that makes sense? He did say in the past if he were to daye anyone he would date me, but he's not really a relationship sort of guy....which i get I'm not really a relationship girl...and i dont want a relationship with him right now..but my heart hurts knowing that we might never explore a relationship in the future...

I just love being around him, when i see him its the highlight of my day, I dont know what love is meant to feel like, ive had alot of trauma during childhood and lost the ability to love for a while..but i think its how i feel about him? He brings alot more meaning into my life and he's just a bright spot...whether or not we ever get in a relationship he is my best friend...