I get so mad at myself how flustered and choked up and every time I totally fumble a basic interaction with a person just because they're attractive I walk away hating myself more.. I just feel so mentally blocked to the point that I don't think I can ever physically handle being in the proximity of attractive women. I probably come across as the most autistically challenged individual of all time whenever I have to talk to the cute cashier but in every other circumstance I'm loud and boisterous and talkative but I'm literally so nervous and shy around girls that I think I might explode.

The weird thing is I've had girlfriends and casual sex with strangers even. I just think its partially as I'm getting older its actually getting worse- like I'm more self-aware of how much of a creep I might seem or something.