I (25F) met this Hispanic man (41M) 5 years ago. The first year of us talking was pretty calm, we took things slow. We rode back roads together listening to music smoking for most of our dates. We learned a lot about each other's past, and how we were raised. We started spending nights with each other. The sex was pretty good but I'm super kinky so ofc it was lacking, but I didn't tell him anything about my kinky side. We started inviting each other to family holidays and BBQ's. It was going alright but he wouldn't show emotion or affection. It was causing some issues, because I'm super touchy. Then he fell at work. He fell 30 feet onto metal decking, broke his back, some ribs, and his neck. I drove half way across Texas with his daughter because I couldn't go in to see him but she could. We stayed and brought him home with us. I move in with him and take care of him. The first year after the fall wasn't horribly bad but it was pretty bad. No affection, almost no conversations that didn't end in an argument. Then after that he completely just shut me out. I would get off work, and then sit at the house for hours for him to show up. When he finally would I'd barely get a hello. It had been almost a year since we had sexy snuggle time. So, I just told myself to move on. I couldn't force him to be happy, and I couldn't be miserable just because of him. So, I left. I left him April of 2023. I was doing power plant work at the time and had the opportunity to go to Ohio, so I left. I came home in late June and laid low for a while. In late September or early October I was at the park with my best friend and my parents and I look up to see him walking the rescue dog we had picked up with his Granddaughter. We start talking again and we confess a million things to each other. The fact he no longer felt like a man because he wasn't physically fit anymore. The fact that I walked on egg shells because I felt I had to. Plus the fact that apparently we are both twisted ASF when it comes to sexual fantasies. He had taken the time I was away to look in at him self and start working on himself. He realized how much he shut me off and then regretted/missed all the affection/emotions. BUT, I jumped into a relationship with someone else because I got too close to my ex, and was scared to go through the same shit over again. The relationship lasted after Thanksgiving to last week. It was horrible. All it did was remind me of all the soul bearing I had done with my ex, how I missed his hands on me, how I couldn't get him out of my head. I got dumped for obvious reasons (couldn't let go of my ex) and as soon as I left the new guys house, I arrived at my ex's. We talked, I confessed everything, and he just holds my hand and asks me "Do you understand why I let you make your own decisions and I'm just always here when you need me?" Sighs he knows that I need practical life experience to understand the ins and outs of life and relationships. He knows I was extremely sheltered and have had only 1 long term relationship before him. So, I'm lost on life and love.

But he's there, always right there for me. He's gotten way better about emotions and affection. I don't walk on egg shells anymore. We have earth shattering sex because we were finally truthful and what we like. We laugh at each other's jokes and understand when we mess up on words.

I never expected it, but I think I am falling for this man all over again.