UPDATE - Wow, I can't explain how crazy it is to see how much this resonated with people. Kinda sad, but also very encouraging how much support has come from the reddit community.

ALSO! - We talked yesterday about how full our schedule is and how we feel like we don't get much quiet time together. So, we've resolved (again) to prioritize some quality time together, this time with specific details. And we had sex last night. She was present and engaged, which did more than just empty my balls; it filled my heart. So, looks like there's hope, y'all!

I'll leave this post up for a day or so, just so that folks can see this update, and then I'm taking it down. Thanks again!

{Original post begins here}

We're basically in a sexless marriage. 15 years together, 13 married. 2 Kids, dog, jobs, etc etc. Despite efforts to prioritize our relationship, we're in the roommate zone. We have sex maybe once every couple months, and it's basically "here, you can use me to empty your balls tonight" sex. I confess, I've given up. I spent the past couple years trying to pursue her and give her the butterflies, but various factors (childhood trauma, depression, medications, and the recent loss of her mother) have put and end to her sex drive.

I'm not really upset with her anymore. I used to be. She wants to do better. She just doesn't seem to be able to. And I'm burned out on chasing and chasing. After a few years of being told no, you just kinda get the hint that that part of the relationship is over. We're a religious couple, and she was raised very sex negative, so I have to hide and deny masturbation. We've talked about the topic till we're blue in the face. I'm just sad, I guess. I miss having real sex with my wife.