This isnt a cry for attention. Or even a bad day. Today was pretty great tbh. I completed a 2 month long project.

But i still cried today. And everyday. And right now.

I cry because my life is and has been extremely hard, shows no route to improvement and i spend literally all my time trying not cry over the fact everything i wanted, mediocre as it was is but a cruel bastardization of the dreams i had. And thats not to mention the voices telling me constantly, everyday... "Your worthless, your hopeless, your nothing, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself". Over and over and over on fucking repeat.

Im fucking tired and i wish you humans would let me choose my own way out instead of existing because you might be sad for a bit when i off myself.