I'm confessing something that I've been struggling with for a very long time - body dysmorphia. I lost over 160lbs through hard work and dedication, but now I'm left feeling depressed and passively suicidal. I've been unable to fix the things that are wrong with my body without undergoing surgery, which I am more than willing but the costs are so high, I'll never afford it.

My appearance has been a constant source of anxiety. My face is looking old due to loose skin causing sagging, I have loose skin on my arms and need completely new boobs as they hang out by my belly button these days.

Sadly, it's affecting my mental health and ability to trust others. I'm so afraid that people will judge me once mt clothes are off and think I look bad that I tend to isolate myself more than I should. This thought process has turned into a vicious cycle of feeling insecure and avoiding social situations. So people stop asking to meet up or hangout and I feel even worse.

I understand that I'm not alone in dealing with the after-effects of significant weight loss, but it's hard to shake off the feeling that others wouldn't accept me or like me due to my appearance. I know that surgery could help me, and that it's a viable option for people in my position. But, it's hard to come to terms with seeking surgical intervention for something that most people wouldn't understand.

I hope that someone out there can relate to this struggle and offers me some advice on how to move forward. I'm open to suggestions and opinions, and any personal experiences.

I hate that I look older than I am and I get told this often.