I'd rather get murdered or freeze or starve or otherwise overextend myself and die struggling. I've run through this scenario many times and there's nothing can think of that would change this disposition. Drugs? Tried a bunch and meh. Psychedelics especially are fucking trash. Money? Wouldn't change anything even if it was the lottery. Sex? Not a fan. Love? Ive been in love once and it feels nice like really nice but I don't want it again it's more work than it's worth being in a relationship. Kids? That's just work raising kids. My ex and I put a kid up for adoption so my genes are out in the world I'm at peace with that as my genetic legacy it's on him at this point. I've pretty much done everything I want to do. I'm bored.