My whole life, my family and friends have told me I'm very kind, optimistic, sweet, caring, and overall very 'loveable'.

It feels like a lie, though.

Just about every person in my life by my age has had someone romantically attracted to them by now--even if just for a small amount of time. I've never felt that.

I know I shouldn't value myself or my worth on whether or not someone deems me fit for romantic or sexual love, as it is not something necessary for life.

But even amongst my peers, I feel like I'm not loveable in a platonic sense. I feel ugly. Broken. Like something is wrong with me. I'm the pity friend. The sweet friend that fixes and cares for everyone, but no one does for me.

How am I supposed to 'love myself' when it feels like the only love I'll ever receive? Why am I the ONLY person I know who's never had someone see me as more than just 'sweet'.

Is it too much to ask for, for once, to be desired?

I've had this conversation over and over.

"You'll find love"

"Don't rush it"

"The right person will come along."

"You're a sweet girl, it'll happen."

"Just put yourself out there!"

It's like waiting for a miracle that'll never come. And it hurts.