Let me start by apologizing for the grammatical errors,i was always better at science. Anyway I was sexually assulted by two of my cousins when I was 5 - 10 years old, to be honest i don't remember it all anymore just snips here and there. I never lost my virginity luckily I was to small but I remember one asking me waking me up in the middle of the night to attempt 😅 thank goodness I cried from being sleepy. What I do remember is vivid, and I wasn't scared or maybe I was I know I was depressed after everytime.i hated my mom for not noticing,and I thought admitting I was raped and it's not ok ,that it affected me I'd feel better plus My cousins are both balding, one lives with his mom addicted to smoking and the other has trouble with law all the time so GOD making karma at work should be enough but im 26 now and I constantly think of how I use to be so confident,then I see movies amd shows about girls dealing with rape by writing books or publicly exposure. I wonder if that would really help me be more self serving. I feel like I've done a lot of bad things to a lot of people. Because of this or maybe I'm just using it as an excuse part of me wonders if I even really know myself anymore.i haven't felt like me