I won’t be too dramatic because I’ve definitely heard worse stories about roommates, but lately mine has been getting on my nerves extra. She has certain special mannerisms that are strange enough that y’all might find it entertaining.

Every time she walks into our room, her first words are “It smells disgusting in here.” Not a “Hi” or “How are you,” just straight into how rancid I’ve made the room smell while she was gone. And sometimes, she’ll give me an extra description of what it smells like (examples include onions, trash, beer, weed, mold, barbecue, etc). She’ll also do this to other people’s rooms (and other people). I get it if it’s a matter of hygiene, but I’m not a gross roommate. Sometimes I’ll heat something up in the microwave or open a container in the room and that induces a stream of consciousness from her about how nasty the aroma of whatever I’m doing is.

Also, she has the least amount of social drive that I’ve ever witnessed. We’ve had conversations about her meeting someone in her class and I’ll tell her she should hang out with them and she’ll explain how “making new friends is too much effort than it’s worth.” Of course, this isn’t really my problem, but she also is super judgmental of people and super open about it. So, that means she shares her opinion on everyone I’ve ever interacted with in front of her. I’ll facetime people in our room and have a good conversation with a friend and afterwards, she’ll say “Wow that was so uncomfortable. You two are so awkward.” One time, I told her about a boy I got with and she visibly cringed and said “That is actually disgusting.”

None of this bothers me enough for me to do anything about it but it makes for some good stories. If y’all have any ideas on how to get her to keep her thoughts to herself, they’d be much appreciated. <3