I can't tell how big the hole is but there is definitely plenty of light coming through my septum. I'm done. This is it. My nose still feels structurally sound. Going to look into a specialist after the holidays. You feel invincible, until you're not. I am so fucking ashamed of myself and how far down I've let myself sink into this addiction. I've already had one rock bottom, rehab, drug court, thought I was changed and healed, clean for almost 3 years up until I relapsed this past March because I used my emotions as an excuse to use. Nobody did this but me. Take care of yourselves. If you know you can't moderate, I implore you to take an inventory of what is important to you. Your health, your life, your family, your mind and soul? Or this shitty white rock we chase and chase to always be left wanting more. It never satisfies us, only grants us instant and ever fading false gratification. It's not worth the price we pay to play and I'm not talking about the money. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?