after doing it for abt 3 months straight, it’s time for a break. my nose feels like crap every day. my therapist asked me if i had a month long cold because every session, many times throughout the session, id be blowing my nose from the night before. i lost a lot of weight and took back up smoking weed just to force myself to eat. i used to smoke weed an unhealthily amount, and coke made me stop, but now i do plenty of both all day every day and i hate how it makes me feel. i hate how im dependent on them just to get through the day and the most mundane tasks, like cleaning or chores.

i have no money, i spent it all on coke. ALL of what little money i had, i spent. i spent more time running to the bathroom every 20 min while out w friends instead of enjoying their company. the best part? i don’t feel much on coke. i feel a little bit, but not nearly anything i read on here. i have decent stuff too, so it must be me. but it’s time to stop feeding the craving. id like to do it a couple times a month max going forward, if at all. but in a perfect world, yesterday was my last day forever. we will see how it goes. be safe :)