Many who know Matt, particularly on a superficial level, would describe him as someone who would give you the shirt off his back. It should be added, even if he needed to trample over others to do so.

Over the last few years, the working environment at M4 is nothing short of toxic.  Depending on how much time you spend with him, you will have a vastly different impression of the kind of person Matt is. Matt was generally seen as the face of M4, and in very short, casual interactions with customers, he could generally present himself as someone to be admired. Staff however, are subjected to the full scope of Matt's volatility. A common belief is that one's true character can be gleaned from how one treats service workers, such as a waiter. The true measure of Matt's character is in how he treats those he has authority over, the employees of M4.

Staff hold their breath whether bringing a customer complaint to Matt would result in getting screamed at for their troubles.  The secret password known to staff and patrons alike is "I know Matt". Customers who didn't want to follow the rules, or had been caught violating the rules of the club would simply threaten to call Matt. Matt was known to give out his personal number freely- even if he didn't know who you were. It was just that easy for customers who moments earlier had brushed past, swore at or otherwise abused staff to smile triumphantly as a quick call to Matt was all they needed to be allowed entry. Matt would say his greatest thrill would be taking a belligerent customer, and ending the interaction with a smile and a handshake. Abusive behaviour waived off and forgiven. He wanted to be seen as their hero. It was incredibly demoralizing to staff. There are numerous accounts, including consent violations, where a customer's words or actions would be witnessed by multiple staff. That customer would change their story with each staff member who spoke to them, including management, until finally they plead their case to Matt. Of course, their account would be wildly different. Matt's catch phrase is "Something doesn't add up". In other words, why are the staff telling me one thing, but the customer's story is different? We all wanted to scream because they are lying. You could see the wheels turning, which party, the staff, the customer, or the potential victim would give Matt the greater fight. Matt is very confrontation adverse. Inevitably, he selected the path of least resistance. Not the one of right and wrong.

Now there is one caveat: If Matt is personally threatened or offended. That would get you banned. Fast.

Staff who wanted to address the abusive behaviour with Matt would be placated. Either Matt was too busy, or had his own personal issues that made him mentally unavailable to address staff concerns. Matt's own struggles- an ongoing divorce, multiple breakups, drug addiction, memory problems, and day to day struggles were always weaponized. He'd trivialize staff for wanting to have their own work related concerns addressed, when his problems were so much more important.

It was not uncommon for Matt to manufacture an environment of chaos. Staff would be burdened with extra work, including work off the clock or on their way to work, because Matt had neglected his duties.  Many times staff would arrive to work and find the club dirty and trashed by friends of Matt. Staff would have to bust their asses to make the club presentable before opening. This extra work was shrugged off by Matt "that's what I pay them to do". Without shame or reflection, he'd broadcast these down to the wire disasters or near misses as a point of pride. Matt seemed to relish the chaos, celebrating easily avoidable hurdles as a show of commitment from the staff to him. This cycle repeated, often before high attendance events. Staff frequently expressed feeling helpless. Compelled to endure out of love for the club,  support for their coworkers and fear of losing their jobs.

Non-employees were allowed to run rampant in staff only areas, go behind the bar, use staff bathrooms (including for drug use or drug storage), and store their personal belongings in areas that interfere with workplace operations. The staff entrance off the dance floor was open for friends of Matt to smoke or vape at their leisure. This naturally interfered with guest enjoyment. The over intoxication and rampant drug use reached a point that customers (at least 10 reports come to mind in the last year) would reach out to staff to complain. M4 is beloved by so many people, and it was heartbreaking to see the experience spoiled so that Matt could use the space as his personal playground. Frankly it was embarrassing every time girls too drunk/high to walk, were carried off the dance floor, or flopping around the floor from Matt's group. Matt would maintain he was usually sober. It's a nightclub, obviously drinking and drugs happen. The difference is how excessive and intrusive his group was to staff and patrons. He would brag about his own addiction recovery journey, but encourage others over indulgence. 

Matt would present himself as a perpetual victim; simultaneously seeking recognition for how he has to hide his pain to be there for others, while loudly broadcasting his misfortunes to anyone he could. Matt would come to work, headphones on, blasting music and stomping throughout the club as a signal to staff he'd had a bad week. Once the club was open, he'd transition to blasting music or video game YouTube videos in hand or in his back pocket to deter staff from approaching him. Complains were usually brushed off, or shouted down.

It would be up to staff to continually follow up if they wished to have their concerns heard. After enough time had passed (sometimes weeks, sometimes months) Matt would relent, but approach the situation as being "in the past" and "already over it" as enough time had already gone by. But, if you still needed to get it out, needed someone to talk to, he was here for you. He's just that kind of guy, and wanted you to feel supported. This was Matt's gas lighting playbook; Deny, ignore, postpone, shrug off, and finally offer a shoulder for you to cry on. Google The Narcissist's Prayer. You'll have a pretty good idea of what staff encountered when confrontations with Matt arose. When Matt asks you to “forgive and forget,” he usually expected forgiveness for something he was continuing to do in real-time. If you didn't forgive him, or took too long to affirm you were on his side, you'd see his true colours in full force.

Here are two examples in 2023 of the volatile workplace we were all subjected to.  One of employees being fired for theft, and one where a staff was threatened with sexual assault that highlight what working under Matt was like....

1) A very intoxicated bartender was having difficulty closing out her till at the end of the shift. Two other bartenders stepped in to help, and noticed strange overages.  The intoxicated bartender devolved into a wild meltdown. Matt walked in, and the staff trying to help were yelled at for not minding their own business.  Matt was upset that he had to deal with an unreasonable person, therefore the staff trying to help were the bad guys. These staff members were later reassured and supported by a manager while Matt continued to complain that he had to waste time calming down the drunk bartender.

When staff mentioned the strange overages to this manager, he simply checked the hidden cameras over the till and was able to track a history of theft from this employee. The bartender, caught stealing on camera from the till, and her spouse, were fired. The other employees who had unintentionally discovered the theft, to the best of the staff's collective knowledge, were never issued so much as an apology from Matt.

In fact, the staff were subjected to further abuse from the fired couple as Matt allowed them to continue patronizing the club. The couple returned each week, harassing staff, disparaging the club, and making intimidating gestures to bartenders while they worked. Even going as far as to have sex against the bar, doggy style, to stare at and mock the bartender they felt had gotten them fired. Many staff were brought to tears, and begged Matt to ban them. It wasn't until a month later, when Matt was personally offended in a discussion with the couple, that they were finally banned.

2) In one horrifying instance, a staff member was grabbed by the hips from behind, and held in place against her will by a male patron.  He whispered in her ear "How many years would I get for rape?". His wife laughed "ya he's bad" and they walked away. The employee was later found on the floor of the laundry room crying by another staff member.  As other managers were busy at the time, the victim unfortunately went to Matt for help.  He barely looked up from his phone as she told him what happened. Without pausing his YouTube video, he had the victimized employee sent home early with pay. No other action was taken at the time.

The next day, many staff, including managers, voiced their expectation that this customer should be banned from the club.  Others had been banned for less. The male's story kept changing, while the assaulted female staff remained consistent. He was a frequent regular, and Matt saw the path of least resistance in not banning him.  Matt justified his ruling that he believed the customer, that the employee was probably exaggerating, and that she should just get a tougher skin and should just expect this working in a sex club. He tried to gaslight the victimized employee that she just remembered it wrong. Three other female staff members threatened to walk out. Matt said he'd fire every one of them. By the following Friday Matt still refused to discuss the issue. He'd had a tough week, and his own personal traumas were the priority and deserved sympathy.  That Saturday he finally accepted he had no choice but to ban the patron. He practically ran around pouring metaphorical Gatorade on himself, assuring everyone the patron would not be returning. In retellings, he would argue fiercely that he had banned them immediately.

It was impossible for any staff member to get a handle on expectations or consequences, be they personal, coworker or customer concerned. Matt seemed to want to maintain his control by blocking any rules or consequences from being written down to reference. Even those submitted by management or other owners. Enforcement and outcome were often inconsistent and subject to his whim. This even extended to simply providing staff with a written reference of their roles and responsibilities for each position. Matt was quite vocal that having roles and responsibilities in writing could somehow be used against him. As anyone could easily guess, this often lead to undesirable tasks not being done, and added stress on quality staff members who would be left picking up the slack. Staff responsibilities would be left up to the interpretation of who was working that shift. When in a good mood, Matt would openly admit he's not good with rules and that's why he has managers who are here to run the business. Yet when management took the initiative to post job expectations, or implement expectations, Matt would undermine and intervene.  

Matt typically insisted on one-on-one meetings. Personal attacks were common. He would deflect the focused onto manufacturing conflict, using phrases like "no one else agrees with you", "no one likes you or what you're doing". A way of shutting down the conversation and taking attention away from the issue at hand if he didn't want to discuss it or take personal responsibility. Of course, he didn't expect staff to compared notes, or quickly discover others were being fed the same lines. If you confronted Matt, he'd insist he'd never said that or you must have misunderstood.  He would derail team meetings, and outright refuse to show up for management meetings.  Refer to them as "A waste of my time". Projecting that everyone would just gang up on him. Matt couldn't control the narrative with all parties listening. Without the noise, the sowing of rumors, doubt or division, Matt's misdeeds come into focus.

You could tell when Matt was feeling particularly remorseful for his actions, as he would purchase baked goods or a bunch of snacks from Wal-Mart for staff to enjoy in the kitchen. Instead of correcting his behaviour, Matt would beg forgiveness with sweets. The weekend dad's "sorry I missed your ball game again, what can I buy you?". What made this particularly cringe was Matt needed to make sure customers were aware of his generosity, bringing them back to the kitchen to view and eat from the display. Sometimes customers, unescorted, were directed to the kitchen to help themselves to the spread. This was particularly unsettling for female staff, alone in the kitchen with strangers wandering back where no one could hear you scream. It also interfered with service. What Matt could never understand is we are not children to be placated by chips and cookies.  It was easier for Matt to try and buy forgiveness than to admit wrong doing and make actual, honest change. Character is a reflection of habitual action.

If you were ever able to back Matt into a corner, where he couldn't completely deny what he had done, he would either downplay the severity of it or devolve into self deprecation. Either a) he can never do anything right  or b) he had memory problems, and so you should feel sorry for him. Sometimes he would threaten suicide. A staff member was once, in part, paid to stay home because Matt was suicidal. Anything to deflect personal responsibility or invoke sympathy. Matt freely blames his memory problems on a history of excessive drug use. I personally believe his memory loss is also a subconscious defense, as he simply can't face the horrible person he has become and the things he has done.

This letter is verified personal accounts and contributions from M4 staff, penned by Tabitha.

Here is a way to these letters in case you cannot comment or the post disappears.

Reddit: r/Iknowmatt