Hi Everyone,

I'm a 19 about to 20 year old Guy whos gone around the ringer like everyone else here. My main focus for creating this post was to just ask everyone here whos comfortable sharing about their life mainly home life, school life, or anything you wanna share. I'm asking because I was sitting here thinking about my life and wonder how other people like me feel in the world and what experiences we might have shared or I have never experienced.

Hi I'm Philip, I was born and raised in the mid west more specifically Wisconsin. Growing up in the early years before elementary I don't really remember much, but as I went in school I didn't really understand what and why people were saying or calling me things likes Thinlip, ScareFace, etc. I didn't really know why people were looking at me weird until I was about in 2nd 3rd grade around there. That was when I had my first bone graph and I started to notice more that "I'm Different". I started to develop this out look on people where whenever someone looked at me no matter how I immediately knew why, So they could make fun of me, bully me, or hurt me in some way weather physically or mentally. It took me until I was around 16 to realize I need to take a step back and look at my outlook on people. In-between 5th grade and 6th grade that summer my parents ended up going threw a rough divorce where my dad ended up beating up my mom every night and drinking alot. A trend that has followed the men in my family for generations along with drug addictions ranging from Alcohol to any pill you can pop. After that summer and I started in middle school the bully went threw the roof, It became a day to day go to school get bullied all day being told what you look like in horrendous ways being told to kill myself all the time just to go home to an abusive father, a mother whos struggling, and on top of that the rest of my family started to treat my like I was my dad. I love my father, I cant ever forgive him for the things hes done, especially to the women in my life. By the time I was around 11-12 my mom and dad are separated and I'm being forced to go live with my dad, someone who would make jokes to me about me being bullied, about my lip, it never really bothered my that much but the reasons why he would say shit like that to me was to try and make himself feel better and later on thinking about that honestly disgust me. During this time not being able to live with my mom ruined our relationship until I was about 16 when I stopped talking to dad. From the age of about 12-18 i was trying to kill myself, the first time was when I was 12. I Tried to hang myself from my closet door with 2 belts tied together. This kept failing and me being all worked up in my emotions I got really depressed and angry and just took the belts and pulled as hard as I could until I passed out. Over years until I was nearly 19 I started smoking weed extremely heavy and doing a shit load of psychedelic's. Thankfully I found my self some clarity and am no longer suicidal or depressed, i do get sad sometimes and angry and all up in my emotions like all people do. Now I'm working making money, about to move out. I only have a few more surgery lefts I just had my 2nd bone graph preparing for implants.

Now I have aspirations, I have Goals, I want to live and want a family. Its hard in this world but we were built tough for a reason. Even if there is a God who made me like this I'm not mad at him I envy the perspective he's given me. In my whole life even if its only been 20yrs I havent met anyone who sees the world like or has experienced like me. I don't wanna say I'm unique in that fashion by we all have a perspective that doesn't get a loud enough voice and I wanna hear you.