Kingdom of the Trolls, Expansion, 1666 AS

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bum? I’ll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Troll mammoth hunters, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Ionia, and I have over 300 confirmed decapitations. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top javelineer in the entire Troll armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another bum. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this flat earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the carrier pigeon? Think again, bum. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of triple agents across the Trolllands and your plot of land is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, bum. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, bum. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Royal Troll Armed Farces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bum off the face of the continent, you little bum. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn bum. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, bum.

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Tefmon

Glorious Dhuþchia

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