For those of you who don't know me, I've been living in many of ComradeNick's towns for years and years since 1.0. Starting in Civclassics, I helped found Westeros and made a little town of my own inside its borders. Months pass and the country of Westeros is lost to the sands of time; the HJE now stood proudly in its place. I was baffled by this change in name and governorship, but one thing still remained the same... ComradeNick is Dear Leader.

As you might expect, this whole situation concerned me greatly. Do I still own my town? Do I still have personal property rights? I brought my concerns up to Mr. Nick, and I was shocked when he genuinely invited me over to his apartment IRL. We've discussed this possibility for years (as we don't live too far away from each other) and now he was saying he wanted to talk about this issue in person, and he'd show me his new suped-up computer and rainbow LED Austrian-made mechanical keyboard. I agreed to come.

A few days pass and I pack up to head to his apartment. For the sake of privacy reasons, I cannot say what state he's in, but let it be known it fucking smells there. Anyways, I got to his front door and knocked. After waiting around for 5-10 minutes (and some random Haitian dude asking me if I wanted to by some "reel gud ganja"), finally the door opens. There in front of me is a red-headed, completely jacked dude in an orange beanie. I did not expect Nick looked like this in person (his real name is Brody btw so I'll refer to him as that for now on). He took me in his apartment and its dark. Dark and dank, and I don't mean it smelled like weed (it smelled like fish tank water he tried to cover with pumpkin spice knock-off brand Febreeze).

Well, it turned out he didn't have a rainbow keyboard or a suped-up computer - he had been playing Civcraft on a russet potato all this entire time (he can't pvp because of this). And he didn't invite me over to talk about the property issue, he locked me in his closet, gave me one of his misshapen potatoes, and forced me to mine out his border vault's location. I was in that stinky apartment for months - and all I had to eat were the cigarettes butts from Marlboro Reds and cold-in-the-middle Kid Cuisines.

Eventually he left me out, not before he forced me to paint several oil portraits of his 100% average sized penis, but I was freed at some point... and all I wanted to do when I got home was run away and live in Mt. Augusta, but alas! I did not log off before he freed me, and so he pearled me in game, and I've been stuck behind his obsidian curtain ever since.

Don't trust Brody/DickyD614/CumragPrick.