reddit is known for a lot of things, some bad, some good, but one of the best is the community's desire to band together to make the world a better place. Today the admins announced the second annual running of a special sort of global meetup day to tap into this desire: a global reddit service day. A noble cause, where redditors are free to participate or not, where people are given just a little nudge of extra motivation to go out into the real world, form bonds, and contribute a little to society.

This noble purpose does nothing, however, to defend the comments section from the tired anti-meetup jerk. As usual such an announcement is inundated with redditors desperate to prove something by letting us know how awful and uncool we all are.

If you sort by best you'll find a handful of positive comments near the top, but once you scroll past the chirps of crickets you'll find the jerk gets underway. We'll start with this comment, which is merely bland:

This isn't something I ever plan on doing.

Thanks for the input! We won't miss you. Apparently realizing their vapidness, this user returns to edit their comment to add an assortment of videos from meetups over the years that they feel were cringeworthy. I have no idea what a video of a barbecue in a park has to do with cleaning up beaches or feeding the homeless, though.

This user expressed their apathy far more efficiently:

Eh

Glad you could drop in.

No. If Ido anything charitable it will not be in the name of ducking reddit, you retards

Way to take a stand... for something...

Another common theme is personal hygiene. Associating computer users with body odor is older than usenet, despite the fact that everyone uses computers and everyone has bacteria in their fucking armpits. But that doesn't stop some users from finding this to be the funniest, most clever observation ever.

IMAGINE THE SMELL

The only difference is that you can actually smell the BO and see the neckbeard.

A chance to meet other redditors? OH GOODY! All the BO and neckbeards one could ever want.

Apparently the smell is because redditors are agoraphobic and have never left the confines of their basement:

These combine two of my favorite things, meeting strange new people and the outdoors. sarcasm

Thanks for the sarcasm tag, I never would've figured it out.

Anyone who would be interested in attending doesn't dare expose themselves to the elements (at least if these responses are to be believed.) Anyone you'd actually want to be with would have the good sense not to go.

Supporting my community is far beneath my turgid intellect and social status, you unwashed fools.

We also can't forget the random attention-whoring. Since a date was mentioned, everyone needs to let us know it's their goddamn birthday. That's just the sort of thing that an international day of service is all about.

And don't even get me started with the goddamn /r/baltimore references.