Long story short, moved to LA, took a day job in a non-creative post role as it pays really well, keeps the bills paid and gives me insurance, even though all I've ever wanted to do is be a full-time DP. I spent some time as a full time DP back home, but was never really able to make enough money to live on my own, let alone save for retirement.

I really want to move into full time DPing again, but I can't afford a lifetime of debt for film school, I can't afford thousands in camera equipment and accessories, I can't afford thousands in monitoring and hand units to go back to focus pulling, and I can't afford to make only $200/day as a PA and work my way back up through the ranks again. At least, I can't afford it without having some idea of whether it's going to actually pay off (I could raid my savings and buy a monitor and hand unit/motors but that doesn't mean I will ever get hired - or paid - as a focus puller; I could raid my savings and buy an FX3 or Blackmagic Pocket with a lens or two and a couple Aputure lights but that doesn't mean I will ever get hired - or paid - as a DP). I have a lot of experience as a DP (and Focus Puller) from back home, but all my contacts in LA moved away or lost their jobs through COVID (and many of the ones I've made since are losing work/jobs through the strike).

The plan at the moment is to work my way up through my day job, and hopefully make enough money so that one day I won't need to work full time at a day job to make ends meet and will then be in a position to try and be a DP again. It doesn't sound fun, but I wouldn't be the first to give up on my dreams. As I get older I also want to have a family, and I don't think struggling to try and make a dream work is really the best situation to raise a family in.

As I try and wrangle this decision in my head, I wanted to get some sense of whether those that do this full time actually make a decent enough living to make ends meet, keep the bills paid, cover insurance and maybe save a little bit for retirement. That is to say - is it all worth it in the end? Or am I doomed to forever be trying to make ends meet?

Edit: Wow, didn't expect this to blow up this much! Thanks everyone for their comments and support, I really appreciate every one of you.