Alright, so I decided to nanny two kids over the summer because the money was great and they weren’t too much of a handful. I’ve known since I was super young that I didn’t want to have kids and this job has definitely solidified that if it wasn’t already a set idea in my mind.

The bad days FAR outweigh the good ones and these kids are MUCH better than a lot of other kids I’ve babysat or cared for. Getting so much day-to-day experience with them leaves me so exhausted by the time I get home and I’d find another job but the pay is PHENOMENAL compared to my other options. I don’t get the chance to socialize, the kids are picky as hell so it’s pretty much ramen or chicken nuggets for EVERY meal, and the older of the two is starting to get annoyed with his brother every five seconds even though HE is the one instigating 9/10. I’m just so tired of reminding everyone to use their “inside voices” and to use “kind words, not mean and hurtful words when we’re frustrated”.

I have no personal space, no more than a few quiet moments at a time, and if I hear one more child complain about “why don’t you like to cuddle? I like to cuddle. Why don’t you want me to kiss you on the cheek? My mom likes it.” The amount of times I’ve been told “I love you!” by a kid who can’t even remember my name??? I’ve lost count. Thank fucking god there’s only a few more weeks left of this because HOLY SHIT, I am DYING!!!! They’re so condescending??? I have no idea how, but they are???

They’ve ruined Little Nightmares 2 for me because of the amount of times I’ve had to “help” them (read: play the game for them because they’re CHILDREN playing a game full of genuinely difficult puzzles) and I refuse to show them any other games because of that. I have a copy of the first game on my switch but they will NEVER be touching it because I can’t do this all over again.

They like to show me videos but it’s always “hey can I show you something? You wanna see something cool? Hey, do you wanna watch this with me? Here, let me show you. Look! Isn’t this cool? It’s cool right? I think it’s cool. Do you think it’s cool?” And those aren’t separate questions - that’s all ONE INTERACTION that took place during the BEGINNING OF THE VIDEO. THERE WAS LIKE TEN MINUTES LEFT!! Why??????

The psychology major in me keeps running through all of the reasons that them including me in their interests or telling me their thoughts and feelings are steps towards better development as they grow and mature, but I get so irritated with them that it makes me want to draw out of my own skin most of the time. I KNOW I have to be a positive influence for them and make sure I’m a safe space as one of their caregivers but holy fucking shit does this job make me like kids less and less.

Not to mention how it makes me wonder even more why people choose to have children??? Like, this is HELL. Why would you want this?