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Just found out that a guy I've been friends with for almost a decade has a 10 year old child that he never tells anyone about. I almost dated him 5ish years ago, and he never mentioned it even when I asked him his stance on having children. WTF!
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I'm furious that he lied to me when we were feeling each other out for potentially dating. I'm so glad I didn't end up dating him or having sex with him. The person who told me about this says that he's barely involved in the kid's life, but he still should have told me that he's a parent when I STRAIGHT UP ASKED HIM AND SAID I DON'T DATE PARENTS AND DON'T WANT KIDS, and I think it's strange and concerning that he lies and hides the fact that he's a dad from all of his friends. I'm having trouble viewing him in any sort of positive light right now. And my fiance knows him better, is closer to him, and spends much more time with him than I do, and he didn't know about this either, even after the two of them had a conversation about vasectomies last year (friend has a vasectomy). This friend gave my fiance the name of his doctor and said he didn't have any trouble getting the doctor to give him a vasectomy as a childless person.

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Adult child of a father like this 🙋‍♀️ didn't spend time with him until I was 23, had a strained relationship for a decade until I recently went no contact with him. The kid is probably better off without him.

He's a deadbeat dad, and he knows it's wrong which is why he keeps it secret. My own dad is like this, lied to women that he didn't have parental rights etc etc to make him look like the good guy for not being there for me growing up. This type of guy will ultimately not bring anything positive into your life. Drop him.

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Posted
3 years ago