I just had my followup appointment today and everything from my salp went great! I’m super excited to never be pregnant and the recovery from surgery really only lasted a week and then it was just itchy as the incisions healed.

But oh man my mother. She called me three different times in the two weeks approaching the surgery to say she was freaking out. I’m the one reassuring her that everything will be fine and this is absolutely what I want! She asked all sorts of bingo stuff, “are you sure you’ve talked to your boyfriend about this”, “have you thought through who takes care of you when you’re old”, “what if something happens to this relationship”... It’s crazy to me just how concerned she was. And it was real concern, like she wasn’t being shitty about any of it, she just sounded panicked that I might make a decision I really regretted.

What it taught me is that my mother just actually cannot fathom a world in which kids are not the best thing to happen to her. My father had anger issues and then cheated, my step father and hers relationship is nothing I would aspire to, she makes decent money but she’s not very passionate about her career or anything... I think her kids are the one thing in her life that she’s always been happy about. The discussions with her just made me feel bad that she’s not found real joy in anything else.

I’m just glad my sister wanted kids so she’s got grandkids to find joy in now...