That's right, I changed my mind.

I (27F) used to be boy crazy and baby crazy, fantasized about having the "perfect" family, and by that I meant a good husband and a good ol' set of twins at the tender age of 21.

When I got into a serious relationship with my current partner (28F) - my adamantly childfree partner, who, like you lovely people here, knew that she was childfree since she was practically a baby - I went through a period where I was questioning our relationship. Can I settle with someone who doesn't want kids? How would I even conceive, being in a same sex relationship in a relatively conservative country?

What a fool I was, wasting so many brain cells pondering about silly issues.

I'm happy to answer yes to the first question and to not have to think about answering the second question.  

Being with my partner made me realise that I only like children when they’re manageable, not mine, and not crying. I cringe when I see children throwing tantrums, rolling around on the floor in public (hello, germs!) She made me realise that I am too selfish to raise a child selflessly (god forbid twins), and that I am probably too egoistic and too narcissistic to make a good parent. I realised that I only wanted a family so I could fit into everyone’s expectations of what a “traditional” family would be. 

Especially now with COVID looming over our heads, and us listening to our colleagues’ children fussing and screaming like a banshee in the background during their video calls. Listening to our colleagues complain that their kids won’t give them a fucking break, and how they feel trapped at home with nowhere to escape. I am happy to say that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If my 18 year old self could see me now, she would get the shock of her life. But I am happy with my choice, and I am thankful for all that has happened.

7 years into a blissful relationship, I am happy to say that we have a beautiful family of 12 (or so, living, deceasing, and deceased) chlorophyll children. We have just moved into our own place, and are planning to adopt once we’ve fully settled.

However, fur children are a much bigger responsibility than chlorophyll ones, so we want to take things nice and slow. 

So yes, I did change my mind. I went from wanting children, to wanting my tubes tied. Well, maybe not my tubes tied just yet. It’s a little hard to get surgery here, but at least I won’t have an oOpSiE pregnancy with my partner. 

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.